Daily Prompt: When I was Sixteen…

DAILY PROMPT:  Tell us all about the person you were when you were sixteen. If you haven’t yet hit sixteen, tell us about the person you want to be at sixteen.

.. I was a senior in high school full of hopes and dreams about going to college.  My biggest problem was landing in the “right” university, and the second was not being self-conscious around the boys.

.. I had a prom date in mind but as luck would have it, he already got invited to a different prom (another school) on the same night.  I was hoping he would invite me to his prom but one of his bestfriends had to take one of twin girls and they wouldn’t be allowed to go out if he didn’t take the other one.  (So much for us going to the prom on either side.)  But he did drop off a rose at my house on the day of the prom with no particular reason or dedication.  Just because..

.. I got rid of my eyeglasses and started to notice boys and had a blast attending parties even if I had a midnight curfew.  I had lost a lot of weight the year before and enjoyed dressing up.

.. I saw the difference between the La Sallites and the Ateneans and while I had good friends from both sides of the fence, so to speak, I found that the La Sallites were more sociable and gregarious — sealing the fate of my son-to-be. (Of course, I didn’t realize I might possibly raise him here in New York.  But had I raised him in Manila, his fate would have been sealed as I ended up marrying a La Sallite anyway.)

.. I wrote poems and I composed songs.  I wrote our graduation theme song and our corps hymn.  Don’t ask me where the creative juices went.

.. I was happy.  Of course, there was the usual teenage angst I had to deal with but I was not overcome by it.  I think I managed it pretty well and emerged from those teen years only mildly scarred (if at all).

.. I was comfortable and to some extent, pampered.  I didn’t know that I would have a difficult decade ahead but my optimism in my youth and my sheltered upbringing notwithstanding, I made it through.

.. I like ‘me’ when I was sixteen.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

FAITH: Words and Pictures

There are things that I do online via Instagram, Twitter and Flickr which deserve a mention here but aren’t exactly front and center of my day.  Or sometimes there just isn’t more to say beyond the photo and whatever I had “scribbled” on to it.  For the most part, I do this only in prayer form, hence you will find a section on the above entitled WORDS & PICTURES as a page under a sub-category FAITH.

Below is my second entry.  I’m not going to do this regularly so I am just posting each graphic as they are created onto the page.   Please feel free to pin or share but please give credit.

 

Sunset over the Poconos and reflections this Holy Week: Lord, help me to welcome YOU into my life. #sunset #reflection #prayer #lentenreflection #HolyWeek #poconos #pennsylvania #Faith #religion

Daily Prompt: When will I be loved?

DAILY PROMPT: Have you dreamt of becoming famous? What would your claim to fame be? Comedy? Acting? Writing? Race car driving? Go!

UntitledI’d be lying if I say I’ve never dreamt or imagined what it would be like to be famous.  Even when I was younger, I thought how it would be to be singing on the stage — problem was, I can carry a tune but my voice isn’t the type that would make people buy anything.  Never as an actress or actor — I knew right from the start, that wasn’t my niche.  Blogging?  I, too, drool over the stats and the great blogs I see online.  I tried for a time to “chase the audience” so to speak, but I lost my voice and it just wasn’t me writing anymore.

I read books and wonder if I could write something like that.  Maybe.  And now I know why people stop their lives and dedicate themselves to writing.  You have to. I wish I could think of something as profound as the plots of the books we read, or that I could just think about those devious story lines that make bestsellers.

Writing figures prominently in my dreams.  Writing that blog of profiles and stories — or writing that story for a novel one day.

I’m just not in a position to chase either one right now.  The last few months have been life changing for me, and I am once again just floating in space.  It’s that kind of a rut that you just can’t shake off because it’s not only you controlling whether it stays or goes.  It’s that state of being that drives you to your knees to pray.

Maybe that’s what I will write about one day.  Just not now.  So I’m postponing “famous” for another time.  With some luck, it’ll happen during my lifetime.

 

 

 

Daily Prompt: Never been mellow? Me?

DAILY PROMPT: After a long day at work or school, what are your favorite ways to wind down and decompress?

I work 5 days a week, and I usually don’t end my day until closer to midnight.  I do get a chance to unwind an hour or two (if I’m lucky) before I finally go off to bed after the dishes and the food left over from dinner have been taken cared of.  It’s Friday and I’m trying not to overthink the prompt, so let me just enumerate the things that I do to wind down, spend some “me” time, and just chill.

1.  I catch up on my favorite shows, and actually stop whatever I am doing to watch if I can.   From its inception to last night’s episode, SCANDAL has been a staple of my Thursday night.  It’s just about the only show I can watch an episode of over and over again, one after the other.  (Think about repeating a song on your playlist over and over again like one extended loop.)  I love Shonda Rhimes, what can I say.  And I love Olivia Pope and Kerry Washington who plays her all the more.  Criminal Minds, Elementary and Grey’s Anatomy along with NCIS (who doesn’t love Mark Harmon?) can be watched on demand.  (Thank you Time Warner Cable!)

2.  I pick up my tools and I try to create a piece or experiment with my beads.  I know, I’ve been talking about this a while now.  And while I haven’t quite picked up the pace, I’ve started to re-organize, expirement again (project of the moment is wire-wrapping which I am having a ball with!), and I’ve relisted some items in the shop.  (Even managed one sale.)

Art journaling: zen tangled face3.  I write/draw an entry into my Art Journal, or do a background further on in the altered book I’ve been using.  Two projects in one.  I try to write a sentence or so everyday although sometimes, I don’t have the energy even for that.  Last night, I scribbled a line.  It’s a line a friend had shared with me.  Gives me pause to think even when I’m just doing the lettering or fonts without actually scribbling an entry.

I like the way my art journal has evolved because now I dare to draw faces, and I am getting more disciplined in doodling — so much so that I actually make an effort to stay within the rather strict zentangling guidelines of sticking to “official patterns”.

But it’s the daily exercise of actually getting something down on the pages of the journal that provides me a release.

4.  I play slots online — but only for free, never for pay.  There’s something about the rolling of the slots that I find relaxing.  Maybe it’s hypnotizing me into playing some more?  I never click on the purchase credits, though, and I wouldn’t dream of gambling.  I just like going through the motions even if there is actually no monetary reward involved.

I’m not really a highly-strung type of person except when I’m upset.  No matter how busy life may get, I coast along and take life as it comes.  Emotions are a different thing, though.  When it gets rough and I am on the verge of whatever, I pray.

Happy Friday, everyone!

The Big Egg Hunt in New York City

egghuntI spied these eggs in two locations and decided to go and check it out. Turns out that Faberge is sponsoring The Big Egg Hunt in New York this Easter and I’m hooked!

Over 200 eggs created by both pop and fine artists are on display in various places in the city.  What to do?  Well, first, you have to download the app (Search for BigEggHunt) and register.  View the Map to visit cracked eggs and hunt for hidden eggs.

Share your photos on Twitter and Instagram so that we can share them with others. Use #thebigegghuntny and the individual #’s for the eggs you photograph (the #’s are on the plaques that accompany egg)

So what’s in it for you?  Besides the fun of actually spotting, hunting, photographing and scanning these works of art, there’s a sweepstakes running which might mean your winning one of three top prizes (eggs, of course) worth quite a pretty penny.  (Check them out here.)

These eggs were designed by the likes of Bruce Weber, Julian Schnabel, Carolina Herrera, Peter Beard, Jeff Koons, Tracey Emin,  Zaha Hadid and Ralph Lauren, and are egg shaped masterpieces that will disappear into some private collections once auctioned on April 22 at Sotheby’s.  There’s even a roaming “Where’s Waldo” egg each day, or simply just enjoy the sp-egg-tacular display as you walk around the city finding as many eggs as you can.

This is 100% for charity and I just snapped up some postcards from their shop  which I was iffy about trying to look for in one of the pop-up stores or at Saks Fifth Avenue, lest they run out!  There’s even a Big Egg Book (which I’d like to see before I buy), but I’m all in for the fun of it.  There’s actually an egg by Chorboogie right behind my building which is the first egg I cracked.

#thebigegghuntny: by @chorboogie right behind my building!  Get into it by visiting thebigegghuntny.org #egg280

I was trying to rush home from an appointment on West 21st when I chanced upon a group of these eggs over at the Flat Iron District before I headed to the subway on 23rd street to take the ride home.

Pictured below clockwise from left: #egg170: The Streets Are Talking, #egg20 : Brooklyn We Go Hard, #egg162: Columbus egg and #egg12: Black Moon Egg.

#thebigegghuntny : Clockwise from left: #egg170 The Streets are talking, #egg20 Brooklyn we go hard, #egg162 Colombus Egg, #egg256 Rosenblum Egg - by the Flat Iron District #easteregg #flatirondistrict #popart #fineart #faberge #egghunt #myny #mynewyork #And here’s an interesting composition of texture and color which almost invites you to touch it, more so since it’s simply mounted on a stand and not encased in glass:  #egg256: the Rosenblum Egg.

#thebigegghuntny : #egg256- the Rosenblum Egg by the Flat Iron District .. There were more but I had to hurry home! #ny  #mynewyork  #flatirondistrict #easter #easteregg #easteregghunt
As you will see,  some of the eggs are in a glass case, others are free standing.  Join the hunt before all the eggs are put on display at the Rockefeller Center on April 18 which should make for another great photo opp for those of you visiting New York City until the Auction on the 22nd.  Check out the Terms & Conditions here and who knows?  You might end up having one of the smaller but more sparkly (as in diamond-encrusted) Faberge eggs to wear around your neck.

I think I’m going to go egg-hunting tomorrow during my lunch break. More egg pics to follow!

————–

PS:  As I hit “Publish”, WordPress just told me I had published my 2400th post.  Wow. Have I been yapping here that long?  Or that much?  I guess by some accounts, that isn’t quite that impressive, but to have kept this blog going when other similar attempts to write other blogs fizzled away is a personal feat.

And the journey continues.. with this post and the posts that will follow… not necessarily about more eggs. (HA!)

It’s almost midnight and I’m exhausted.  I think the almost hour-long workouts zap me of energy because my body isn’t used to exerting itself.  I had hoped to work on my agate coin beads.  I guess not.  My trainer told me to listen to my body and just rest when it say “I’m tired.”  So goodnight, everyone.  Here’s to my 2,400th entry in this blog written by and for me. =)

 

Dream on (Feedback from someone hoping to be a legal eagle someday)

Dream!!This post is inspired by an e-mail I received from a lady who is thinking of pursuing a career in law and currently trying to get into law school in the Philippines.  Her e-mail has inspired a half dozen possible posts, but let’s begin where the pursuit starts:  a dream.

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a doctor.  I liked the idea of wearing that thing-a-ma-jig (stethoscope) around my neck, and seeing my doctor come into this colorful examination room bedecked with cartoon character mobiles and murals.  (My pediatrician was the late and great Dra. Fe Del Mundo.)  I didn’t like all doctors, though, particularly this one who lived near us and who was always taking out those glass syringes and long menacing steel needles.  But I liked the sound of “Doctora”.

Then certain life experiences, innocent though they may be, convinced me that that wasn’t the path for me.  I have written about most of them.  (Gag alert)  One was my experience holding my mom’s tonsils floating in liquid in a plastic bag after her tonsilectomy — it literally made me feel my stomach turn but thankfully, the gag reflex was easier to control.  Second was my waterloo being Math.  And I think I haven’t mentioned how one time I ventured into the kitchen to try to slice through a slab of pork, just feeling the knife slicing through the meat sort of sent the wrong sensations up my spine.  End of the dream.

But one thing that made me shift my sights on the legal profession in my younger years was I realized I loved to write, I had the gift of gab, and I liked the looks of those lawyers parlaying their skills as defenders in court.  (Little did I know that they didn’t speak Tagalog at all in court.. everything was translated.  That was all for drama.)

We nurture all sorts of dreams in our hearts. I nurture dreams big and small, simple and profound, achievable and impossible.  Even now at 48.

I dream of one day being able to wake up without the burdens in my heart.  Being able to truly wake up with a smile not just on my face, but deep within.  Of one day being able to say I made it through.  It’s all behind me.

I also dream of maybe having the time and the energy to devote to my creative pursuits.  So many beads to make things out of.. so little time to sit and try.

And as much as I’ve written and do write, I have a particular project I’m hoping to one day accomplish.. I want to write profiles of people on a website dedicated solely for that purpose.  And I don’t mean those celebrities or bigwigs (although I do know one or two) or popular personalities.  I want to write about the very affable sandwich guy in the deli where I get lunch for my boss, or the young lady with very pretty eyes who rings it up when I’m done.  I want to write about the old lady who serves up food in one of the Filipino bakeshops we frequent and find out what brought her here.  I want to hear their story and have their stories heard.  I want to write about classmates who are now their own person — whether as single moms, successful executives, entrepreneurs, politicians.  But I don’t want to write about them as the person they are known for.  I want to write about something that they are that people don’t know.  For example, one celebrity friend who has battled cancer likes Matrushka dolls, Hello Kitty and Bath & Body Works Sanitizer keychains.  I want to write about why she likes those things and how she reacts when people tell her she’s inspired them in their fight against cancer.

I can go on and on and on, but that is a project for another day.  It’s a dream in my heart and in my mind.

Not all dreams are nurtured early on.  Some of them come at the spur of the moment.  It’s like a lightbulb that pops up at the weirdest of hours.  Like most things in life, dreams are fanciful enough for us to take seriously or dismiss with flip of the hand.  But if we choose not to ignore it, no dream is too late pursue wherever we may be in life.

Not even entering law school.

There are many lawyers or lawyers-in-waiting (those who cannot seem to pass the Bar exams despite multiple tries but who have not given up — kudos!) who pursued that dream very much later in life.  When I took the Bar myself, there were people in the same room who were old enough to be my mom.  Yet they were there feeling as nervous as we young ones (then) were.  When you take the bar exams, you are thrown into a new room for each of the four Sundays.  You don’t know who is going to sit next to you, and often, there’s a lot of small talk and nervous chatter between exams as we await the beginning of each one.  I have been lucky enough to have taken it only once, and during the first Bar Exams held in the premises of De La Salle University on Taft Avenue at that so we had airconditioned rooms and all.  But seeing that collective laboring through the travails of trying to make it through the four Sundays gave me added courage that I needed to believe in myself.  If they can make it, I can make it.  I felt one with them — we were all dreaming the same dream.

Beyond my innocent visions of being in the courtroom as I watched those movies showing Atty. so-and-so when I was younger, I’ve come to see that being a lawyer is not confined to being in the courtroom.

So my reader Evelyn tells me that she doesn’t even know why she wants to be a lawyer when deep in her heart she is a businesswoman with a flourishing printing press.  (Wow.)  To which I say, what’s stopping you?  Being in law school, finishing it, taking the Bar Exams and passing it may not be needed in your printing press business, but believe me, it won’t hurt to have that added knowledge.  You’d be drafting your own contracts instead of going to someone else (and paying them for it) and maybe even notarizing those documents yourself.  You will know your rights and the nuances of contracts, taxation and corporation law in relation to your business.  But that’s not even the crux of why I think you should go ahead and give it a shot.

Going after your dream is living your life as you want it.  It’s like a lifestyle choice — you can be whatever and whoever you want to be.  If you have the means like you do thanks to the business you’ve been successfully running, what’s stopping you from pursuing a legal education that so many others pine for but can only dream of for lack of the financial means to do so?  So what if the law school you choose doesn’t choose you!  As you have probably read in previous related posts, I wanted to go to UP but they didn’t want me.  Because the Ateneo School of Law opened their doors to me, when I passed the Bar, that point went to their passing statistics.  We choose the school we go to based not just on their reputation and their standards, but sometimes we have to go to the school that will accommodate our work schedule, too.  And even if that school that we chose or that accepted us later on decides it wasn’t working out (translated: if you get booted out or dropped), there are other schools.

From the beginning to the end of that journey, it’s you and your dream that will steer you this way or that.

Future posts will deal with the other points you wrote but let’s start at the most important deciding factor of whether you eventually carry “Atty.” before your name some day — dream on, Evelyn.  I say go for it!

Next up, writing, you ask…

 

RELATED POSTS:

Inspiration and a Mother’s Dream to be a Lawyer Some Day

(Of never-ending but very welcome) Law School Inquiries – A Reply to CONCERNED CITIZEN

Broken Links and Trying to Get into Law School

The Path You Choose to Take

The Dreams we Dream

“Should I go to law school or not, Atty. Dinns?”

Feedback on Feedback: Chasing the dream to become a legal eagle

To those in their Freshman Year in Law School in Ateneo

Be not afraid to pursue your dream to be a legal eagle someday

To all those Law school hopefuls out there..

Another Question on Taking the Ateneo Law Entrance Exam

Thinking about law school?

From a Bar Reviewee

Back when I was in Law School

 

 

Accepting when it’s time to give up

Time to give upWe humans are stubborn by nature.  I know I am.  I have always been armed with a ton of optimism and hope, even when my better judgment seemed to scream at me to go or look the other way.  But there is more to life than logic and what others say or think. There is your heart.  And if you’re like me, you tend to follow it more so when you feel the message from above is to go this way or that.

Against all odds.

Even when it starts looking like the choice you made may have been wrong.  Or that the choice you made is not working out.

I am at that juncture when I keep asking myself if I should just admit that perhaps, it is time to give up.  It’s like how I’ve been working on experimenting with polymer clay for quite a while now… and I have not really achieved anything much besides learning the ropes.  Not for lack of effort, but my world is moving in so many directions even taking the time to create designs has been hard to find.  So is it time to give up?

I am usually the last one to succumb to feeling bereft of hope.  There IS always hope, I’ve said time and again.  And there are other considerations besides what I think should be the parameters of my decision.  It goes beyond me and my little world.

I used to think that giving up is admitting defeat, or succumbing to defeat — but I’ve started to see it as something akin to acceptance and just realizing there are things that you aren’t meant to have even if you think you deserve it.  GIving up might actually be a winning move because it means acceptance of reality instead of hoping for something that had long been gone or torn apart.

I watched “Noah” the movie last week and one line in the movie resonated with me more than the grandiose production and special effects which made it quite a visual spectacle — Noah said “Some things just cannot be unbroken.”  So you cannot put it back together, and it becomes something you need to learn to live with — or not.   You have to choose whether to keep trying or just learning to accept that it is time to give up.