Super Mom I am not

This week’s edition of Newsweek has for it’s cover story Mommy Madness which immediately caught my attention.  While I agree that this generation of moms is super hyped on attaining perfection and doing the “mostest” and the “bestest” for their children, I consider myself a more laid back mom (and a first time mom at that!) than most others.  Perhaps it’s because I have the backing and support of my mom who is definitely your typical Filipino mom —  not exactly the modern supermoms who keep trying to be better than the mom next door.

I guess I’m rather spoiled compared to mom’s of my generation.  I was fortunate enough to have had my mom to take care of Angelo without having to sacrifice much in terms of my work and career.  While plans are afoot for me to try to strike a better balance (like keeping more reasonable hours here at work), I haven’t really been torn between home and work.  Despite the fact that I don’t have as much time as I used to have for myself to do the things that interest me, I don’t consider myself completely deprived of my personal time to devote to the things that interest me.  I still do them but just don’t do as much of them — writing, doing crafts like knitting, etc.. devoting time to my website?  (Maybe because now my weblog takes priority.. ha!)

I just give it my best, that’s all.  There’s no such thing as perfection in parenting, and my husband has made me realize that with his 14 year old son.  I intend to give it my all and keep my fingers crossed that I give Angel the best of what I can give, and that he turns out to be a good person in his adult years.

Pumapatak na naman ang Ulan.. bubong ng bahay.. di maiwang gumawa ng di inaasahang bagay..” – The Apo Hiking Society

So goes one of my favorite songs from that trio.  It’s raining and I decided to leave my “good” (translated: working) umbrella at home because this morning, the sun was out and the skies were clear.  Hmmmmm.. I know I should’ve switched to Fox 5 news from Sesame Street even if only to catch the weather report.  But I wanted to give Ernie and Big Bird the chance to delight my little boy with their “Journey to Ernie”.  I didn’t even make it to “Elmo’s World”.

I guess I will just have to brave it.  Had I known it was going to rain, I wouldn’t have worn a skirt.  Then again, I am wearing my boots.. so maybe that will work out after all.

I love rainy and cloudy days like this for as long as I’m indoors.  It makes me want to cozy up to Angelo.  Alan is too far away to do any of that.  =)  We’d watch the rain from the window sill and he will probably try to give me a coo or two.  I so enjoy watching him take an earnest look in his face, sometimes even furrowing his brows and then babbling as if he were trying to discuss some serious matter with me.  I simply say yes and try to make out like I can understand everything he is saying.

Nothing can compare to seeing him light up when he hears my voice or see me emerge from the stairwell.  On rainy days like this, we can just watch the rain come down.. warm in each other’s arms, and I fall in love with my little man all over again.

Getting Ready for Paris

I haven’t really had the chance to brush up on my plans for Paris except that I have printed Fodor’s recommendations for the best of a 3-day stay. I have also started reading the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown primarily because of a section called the Da Vinci Code Touron Fodor’s, and after reading the first 40 pages of the book on the way to work this morning, I now understand why.

The book has sat on my bookshelf for a while now, but since I’m off to Paris on Wednesday the 23rd, I thought I might as well get into it and then try to do part of the tour. Much as The Broker by JOHN GRISHAM has spurred an interest in Bologna, Italy, the Da Vinci code has already given me some interesting backgrounders on some of the sights I am looking forward to seeing. While I doubt I will be able to do the whole Da Vinci Code tour, I am at least getting a good introduction to the sites I am visiting.

I leave on a red-eye flight on Wednesday, getting there at just before 8AM the next day. I will meet Alan at their hotel, the Hotel Warwick Champs-Elysees and will spend the day going around on my own. We will then spend most of the weekend touring Paris together. I know I have very little time to enjoy the sights but I know this isn’t going to be my first and last visit to the City of Lights. I look forward to coming back and soaking in more of the sights in due time.

Mother and Son

Written last night

It’s almost midnight and I just finished pumping milk for Angel’s breakfast tomorrow.  Even if I had just nursed him on one breast, I still managed to produce 6 1/2 ounces of milk.  How I envy the women who are part of an e-group I joined hwo average double that at this same stage — 9 month.  Still, I derive such great pleasure and fulfillment knowing I am still nursing Angel.  I intend to keep doing that for the next 3 months until he is a year old.

We still cosleep with him and will move him to his crib once we wean him from breastmilk.  For now, he and I are inseparable at night.  It’s becoming more and more difficult to make him wait for me to finish my chores and bedtime routines before we settle down and turn in, but I also enjoy the way he calls me to pick him up so we can start playing.  In the mornings, he is my alarm clock, often waking up ahead of Alan and me.

I can’t tell him enough how much he means to me and how much I have missed him all day.  I know he knows..

Falling in Line

Written last night

I have always had this thing about the discipline of falling in line and taking one’s turn. The nuns at St. Paul (Pasig and then Quezon City where I went for Elementary and High school ages ago) had early on instilled in us the need to walk in single file in an orderly fashion and to keep our place in the line and wait our turn.

Most bus stops have their prospective passengers lining up, more so at the beginning of the route such as the various buses that pick up passengers at Main Street. (This reminds me of the lines for the FX back in Manila from Broadway going to Makati or from Makati going wherever else in the Metro Manila area.)

While I mostly opt for the QM1A which is the express bus that takes me to and from Manhattan and my doorstep, I sometimes brave the 7 train if I’m going home alone. Once I get off the subway on Main Street, I head for the Q27 Limited Bus Stop that takes me to the co-op community where we live. It is a pretty long ride that ends in Jamaica, so the line is often long.

Today the line wound around the corner and we had quite a wait. I must’ve been somewhere among the last possible seated passengers-to-be when a woman around my age tried to sneak into the line 4 people ahead of me. I have noticed that the women who do this would do it by trying to sneak in front of men instead of women because they probably figure the men will be gentlemanly enough not to rebuff such a brazen attempt to get ahead of the others.

I called the woman’s attention to tell her the end of the line was way past me. She feigned a mistake saying she thought it was a line for the next bus route, and I said no, it’s still the line for the same bus she and I were lining up for. Although there were probably another 20 people behind me, she still managed to cut in around 8 people behind. I couldn’t help but just shake my head in disbelief.

There will always be people who will try and get away with what they can, unmindful of other people. It’s that kind of attitude that makes even the meek go wild with frustration at other’s inconsiderate actions. It’s a personal choice not to let that happen, that is why I always choose to speak up. Otherwise, the audacious will keep getting ahead and the meek left behind. Sometimes they just need to be reminded that other people do mind, and the bold are put in their place. Sometimes, just a simple “Excuse, but there’s a line here” will take care of the undisciplined who try to get ahead of those with the patience to respect others who were there before them.