Off on her way home

Down to the last minute when she was finally aboard the plane that will take her home to Manila, my sister and I were texting.  (She through her Globe phone which was on roaming, and I thru Chikka on my PC.)  I feel sad that she’s finally off, but at the same time relieved that she has decided to go home first before taking a chance on the job offer here.

It throws Alan and I full blast into taking care of Angel hands on, but that’s nothing new.  The house will be a little quieter without my sister or my mom there, but I am looking forward to having Mom back.  That keeps me hopeful…

In the meantime, we need to get by in the next couple of weeks on our own.  It is actually something that Alan and I look forward to because it enables us to enjoy Angel at this stage in his life.  We personally take care of everything and we feel closer as a couple because we work on it as a partnership.

It’s gotten pretty hot here in New York with summer on at full blast.  The poor boy is usually sticky by the end of the day but still smells like the baby that he is.  Meanwhile, I’ve taken to wearing light weight clothing, keeping away from layering as best I can.  (No suits or jackets please! — well, except when it rains.) 

Almost 4PM and counting the minutes til it’s time to go.  Father and son are waiting for me.  I’m in no mood to whip up a feast but I have some chicken popcorn in the fridge and some fries I can bake for my little boy.  My sister lands in Narita tomorrow afternoon and she will be in Manila by their evening — our AM here.  At least she made it.. and hopefully, she’ll be back soon.

Countdown to Nothingness Again

If my bandwidth count is right, I’m just more than a meg away from disappearing into oblivion until the bandwidth is refreshed come August 1.

That’s a week and a half of not being present online, so I guess I’ll just have to grin and bear it.  It’s not a very happy thought, and it makes me wonder if I ought to stop posting here or wait for the blog to be back online again.  Then again, when did not being read ever stop me?  After all, I started this blog with the thought in mind of keeping an online journal for my benefit.  If others read it and find amusement or pick up a thing or two from it, then that’s good — otherwise, as long as I am able to post my thoughts down, then go back to them later, then I’ll be fine.

It’s muggy and cloudy outside and the view of the Manhattan Skyline on the way to the city was a blurred and hazy landscape.  Could be partly smog and partly the humidity — they said it might rain later.  I had to take the express bus to the city with my sister. 

Yes, we took a 9AM express bus to the city which saw her getting off at 10AM to do an interview for a possible job opening on 47th Street — all this despite the fact she needed to be at JFK International Airport by 12NN to board a 2:05 PM flight to Manila.  So she’ll probably be scampering up to our co-op at 12NN and they will be raising to the airport with a still groggy Angel (who just fell asleep accoridng to his Dad) — and the chocolates and all the pasalubong will be in Manila by tomorrow.

My sister’s ambivalence about returning to Manila reminds me of this same roundabout in December of last year when she was vacillating between going home and staying in LA last year.  I told her today she ought to have a plan — it is difficult to just trust one’s fate to destiny, because it can take a shape or form we cannot see because we refuse to see it.

She’s always been pretty lucky in finding a job — but her ultimate goal is to take the Nutrition licensure here in the US and work legitimately here.  I keep telling her that takes some planning — and she has to have not just A plan but a series of plans to make it work.

I just heaved a sigh remembering how sad I am that she is going now.  I cannot wait until my Mom is back.  I am asking her to make sure that Mom is ready soon — and maybe if she is really decided on trying her luck out here, then she can bring Mom back to New York in as soon as 3 or 4 weeks.

Having no family around (Family being my blood relatives) outside of the family Alan and I have built makes me feel so alone.  I envy him because he has all the family he needs with his Mom and his sister’s family just walking distance from where we live.  I have been spoiled the last 14 months, 12 of which saw Mom helping me care for Angel.  But more than the help with his care, I got the chance to have family around again.  Can’t wait for Mom to be back!