Feedback: on being a StepMom

Lilyrain visited me earlier today and wrote:

I am from China. I like your blog very much. You must be a patient and responsible stepmother. Show your love to him. I am from a broken family too. And I have a stepfather–who is a little stubborn sometimes. Quarrel and fussy matters disturbed my childhood and youth a lot. Yet I and my siblings know that he loves us to some extent. As you put it” No matter what our circumstances are, we have a choice, and our misfortunes can become our strength or our burden — how we move forward is up to us.” I am not a so strong girl yet unwilling to yeild to the fate. Now I am a university teacher and he is old. I will take care of him when he becomes older. Tell him: A man has to be responsible to himself!

Lily, it is always nice to hear differing viewpoints, and I must say I appreciate hearing from a “stepchild” like you.  I can only hope that my stepson realizes his folly before it is too late.

I have my faults as a stepmom, too, and I must admit that although in the beginning, I was patient to the point of being a martyr, I often have to remind myself to bite my tongue or just let things pass when he challenges his father and me.  I am only human and I have my own threshhold for irritability.  I try — that’s all I can say.

Your stepfather is lucky to have you as a daughter.  Notice how I refer to you as a daughter and not a stepdaughter.  I can see from your tone that the love you feel is real — and it is something we can only hope for in my case.  It’s a case to case basis I suppose — I am never one to say anything is final.  Things can change.  And as you reminded me, I did say, it’s all a matter of choice.

I wish you a happy holidays, Lily, and do visit again.