Famous words from Dr. Jose Rizal.
I’m sitting on an e-mail I’m very hesitant to send out. Part of me wants to just keep it to end the discussion. Part of me is screaming to respond.
Words have a way of conveying emotions, particularly anger and frustration, and the worst part of it is that with computers and e-mails, you can now go back over and over again and relive the argument as long as you don’t delete the correspondence.
Hmmmm.. am I willing to do that? I have gone back to the e-mail and edited it half a dozen times now. I’m trying to edit out the sarcasm and not be too aggressive about my point. I’m struggling not to get angry as the writer I’m responding to sounds like he’s about to have a heart attack, so I’m caught in a bind, vascillating between blowing him off with a reply, or letting him stew by ignoring his ranting.
I was actually surprised to see an e-mail after I was told not to contact them anymore because they don’t want to have anything to do with us. Such final and irrevocable words. Carrying out a conversation, much more an argument online is very frustrating. For starters, you can’t slam down the receiver as you can slam down a phone in the olden days. These days you can’t even do that with the cordless phones because the worst you can do is cut the call by pushing a button. So when I get a point for point rebuttal and three arguments thrown out for each statement I made hoping to settle things, there are three more responses dying to get online and off to their mailbox.
(Twiddling thumbs on my desk..) I tried working on my scrapbook but I’m done with my first layout. Not even that has inspired me enough to keep going. (Hopefully after this post.) I used to wonder why people need to be so hateful. I have been in that situation a few times myself and I found it terribly painful and emotionally draining. And the worst part is that it didn’t make me any richer or any happier.
I suppose there are pains which cause so much anger that the hateful one tends to forget the things that matter. The anger spills over and hits everyone in sight, even those who are not part of the scenario. Civilian casualties, they are called in a military war. That is the saddest part — when those who are innocent become casualties.
I still haven’t made up my mind. I’m afraid my words might cut and cut deep they will. Is it worth it? Or should I just put it all aside?
Pinay New Yorker 