I never sent that e-mail which I felt was much too hostile for my good. Instead we got another e-mail and I guess now, all attempts at keeping the peace are futile. I’m okay.. thank you to those who inquired about it. Don’t worry, we’re not having the same kind of political emergency GMA is having back home. (How come that bit of news didn’t surprise me? We were actually waiting with bated breath when the attempt would be made after all those arrests.. but let’s not get political here.. )
The only good thing about this is that I am at peace with my family (meaning my immediate family — Mom, my siblings and everyone back home), my husband, his Mom (who now lives with us) and even my stepson with whom I’ve been at odds with from the day I married his Dad. We’re even actually getting along which is a feat in itself. So even if others have been causing my husband and his family pain, I am able to give them my strength.
When hatred takes over, there is no way to listen to reason. My biggest regret is having to say goodbye to people who have no choice but to stay away now that lines have been drawn. Though they may not want to take sides, they have to. Our extended family used to be my sister-in-law and her family and her in-laws who were our Ninong and Ninang when we wed in 2000. Now that family has been torn in two.
I used to believe that there is no such thing as the point of no return when it comes to people you love. Sadly, my husband’s family has reached that. I can only watch from the sidelines and assure my husband and his Mom that we will be alright. It will not be easy just forgetting family ties like that which have been severed, but we must move on and go past the anger. Let them wallow in that — we don’t have to.
I even wished them well and thanked them for having been a part of our lives. Instead I was told I was never even treated as part of the family. I knew and felt that. Yet I did not pay heed because I came into the family because of my husband, and my mother-in-law is one very fair and generous person. Besides, my Mom had always taught me to deal with my in-laws fairly — di bale na daw na meron akong masabi sa kanila, basta wala silang masabi sa akin. I find it timely indeed that my Mom is here witnessing my other family breaking apart. She was admonishing me not to get involved, but I was the only calm voice in the melee.
It’s so sad. All I can say is I am so glad I have my siblings for my family. That’s another post altogether.
As I wrote my Ninong and Ninang, it sounds like goodbye but it isn’t for Alan and Me. Family is what you make it — and whether or not they are physically present where we are, they are always a part of us.