Unconditional Love of a Parent

Anna stopped by and wrote this in reaction to my questions on ADOPTION:

hello dinna!

i was just lurking, but this post captured my attention. i have been praying on adopting a kid for several years now. my mom asked me, “are you sure you are ready?” “can you give that kid unconditional love, FOREVER?”, “are you the best possible parent for the child?”…it really scares me…what if i am not, despite my best efforts to be so?

i know if God chooses me, then i’ll be alright. di ba?

I consider adoptive parenting an extra generous dose of generosity.  Parenthood per se — being a mother or dad to our offspring is part of human nature.  We do it out of love and partly out of obligation.  It’s something we have to deal with being that the child is a part of us in the literal and figurative sense.

Adoption, meanwhile, is a conscious choice.  You choose to take a stranger or a relative into your mind and heart and nurture that human being as if he or she was your very own.  It’s like falling in love, as I had written, but a different kind of falling in love because you are in for keeps.  There’s no falling out of love once the lines are blurred and you consider this other human being a part of your in flesh and blood.  You start to feel the child’s aches and pains, and you find yourself taking a defensive stand against all possible harm that might come to him.  You learn to love him or her as your own, and even when you are blessed with real children, you do not distinguish. 

I believe that we can all be good parents, but there’s no such thing as being the best parent or the perfect parent for any child.  We all try our darnedest, but we are only human.  This, I believe, is part of the grand design of everything — it helps us to nurture each other through the challenges of life. 

I have a friend who recently got married who is ambivalent about having children.  She fears that it is such a big responsibility and she is scared of that responsibility.  If you ask me, it all boils down to love.  If you have enough love to give, then despite your mistakes (and there will be many), you will be a good parent.  Perhaps you won’t always be the best parent, but you can constantly strive to be a good parent who will nurture another human being to give that love to others in return.

It doesn’t always turn out right.  But nothing in life is certain — haven’t we heard that all too often?  We have to take a chance.. we have to learn to trust.. it’s like falling in love and marrying someone.  You don’t know if it is indeed for keeps.. you don’t know if fate will take your other half away and then you will be left alone and heartbroken.  So you just take a child’s hand, hold him close, and love him or her with all your heart.  The rest will follow. 

The questions, the doubt will never go away until you hold that child.  I know you have your answer already, Anna.. if you want it, you have to seek it, and He will lead your way.



2 thoughts on “Unconditional Love of a Parent

  1. dinna,
    reading this with tears flowing from my eyes is not an easy task. my husband and i are sure that one day we will become parents, currently we are both undergoing extensive pregnancy work-ups, and hopefully God will bless our little banana family with a human biological child (you see, our little ferret matilda is our first baby!).
    my husband once told me that, biological babies grow inside your body, adopted ones grow from the heart.
    thanks dinna, thanks for this lovely post. hugs to you, angel and alan! 😀


  2. john delrosa

    hi dinna,

    my name is john, i was born in the philippines and now livin in paris, i am married with a gorgeous french woman, aurelie, i am writing you regarding the adoption of a child, we are planning to have a baby but is still want to adopt a baby in the philippines, have you heard if its easier for a balikbayan to adopt a baby in the philippines.

    i miss the philippines a lot, and we are also planning to live there next year, i am organizing my business linked to this move, i admire your blog so much, how can you
    devote so much time, you are so disciplined !

    watch out on our diet, dont eat macarons too much…



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