I managed to transport Angel to daycare without incident today. I walked to a stop ahead to get better seat choices, woke up way earlier than usual to get us there in time, and I cheated and didn’t feed Angel much for breakfast so that I don’t risk him getting car sick on the way. I did have a tub of Cheerios ready for him to snack on, but he was too busy enjoying the scenery.
The boss is in and I’m trying to work. (Done a lot, mind you.) Meanwhile, my mind keeps flitting from thought to thought. Too many things running through my mind right now.
I’m wondering if my Nilagang Baka is simmering beautifully in my mother-in-law’s new slowcooker. I’m trying to plot whether or not I will handwash my delicate knits tonight — maybe if I have the energy left. I’m staring at a stack of cards I’m hoping to mail or maybe send via courier through Johnny Air.. maybe. (I’m afraid it might get pilfered once it hits Philippine shores.. the fact that they’re cards makes them suspicious items — and the fact that they come from the US has dollar signs flashing on and off on the front of the envelope.)
Sometimes I feel like I’m boxed in and this is one of those days. I don’t know if it would be correct to say I’m in a rut but having Angel there makes me smile no matter what. There are days when he can really try my patience — like when he starts biting me in true gigil fashion, and I want to bite back but he starts laughing impishly and then kisses me right smack on the lips as if to say “Don’t get mad, Mama.. I’m just having some fun here.” — and of course he gets away with it.
When I start feeling blue, I just remind myself about how blessed I have been. I have a healthy boy who continues to remind me about the wonders of life. Here is a living and breathing toddler who actually came out of me. I helped give life to this person. I have Alan by my side. I have my family.
Life may be a never-ending struggle, but it’s a struggle I’ve coped with through the passing of time. There are too many good memories to smile about to just lay back and wallow in sadness. Or to stay in a rut. I just have to figure out how to get out of it.