Blog Conversations

Personally speaking, I blog for my personal benefit.  It’s a means of chronicling my thoughts and keeping track of the hundred and one things that I go through in my everyday life.  I used to do it longhand in a journal which was limiting in a sense because if I didn’t have the journal with me, I couldn’t stop and write a thought that flashed in my head.   The good thing was that I could always just go and take the journal from the shelf, flip a page and read what I had written some time ago.  I haven’t done that in a while.  I sit down with my laptop in front of me and I type away, literally putting the words that race through my mind as if I were talking to myself.

I have derived immense pleasure from meeting blogfriends who have introduced me into their own world on the blogsphere. Most of them dropped by, wrote a comment, I wrote a response, and there started an ongoing blog conversation.  There was a time when I could respond to each comment with a post, but these days it’s either there are too many comments or there’s not enough time to respond to what comments I get so I have opted to e-mail back a reply instead.  (That is the main reason I am requesting for a REAL e-mail so that I can at least thank you for taking the time to hit those keys and sending me your thoughts.  Leaving a bogus e-mail is, to me, a form of deceit and taints your comment with malice.  Anything left in the spirit of goodwill, even if critical of what I posted, should not be a cause for cowardice. )

Given the limited time I have to post my thoughts on my blog, I have purposely limited the list of blogs I visit, unless someone who leaves a comment cares to leave his or her blog address for me to have a look-see and maybe return the courtesy.  It’s like reading magazines — you go to a rack and pick up your usual reading list, although there is that once-in-a-blue-moon on-a-whim magazine you buy because of someone on the cover or an article that caught your attention..  there are times I just land in someone else’s blog rather randomly, either from one of my blogfriend’s blogrolls, or because google brought it up on a blog-unrelated search.  I know there are those who have the time and luxury to keep blog hopping— how I wish I had the extra time to do just that.  There are so many things you can learn and much entertainment is to be had reading other people’s take on everything from the “cab of the day” (and you get the cab name, plate number and route!) to all those fun recipes and scrapbook layouts.. 

I’d like to think that reading blogs, like writing one, is supposed to be fun.  So when I visit blogs, I don’t judge them according to my standards — I try to see them from the perspective of the writer, just as you would marvel at a catchy photograph which has more depth and meaning in someone else’s eye.  (I say to myself, I could’ve taken that and it wouldn’t have been composed that way!)  I try to write a comment when something catches my roving eye, but I do not write comments just for the heck of it.  Despite the free zone that the web is, I’d like to believe that bloggers have an unwritten code of ethics.   If I disagree with what you wrote, I will let you know but I will not attack you for it.

Not all the comments I receive to my various posts are music to my ears.  There have been those who disagreed, but kudos to those who disagreed without being disrespectful or condescending.  It’s like having an actual conversation face-to-face.  My favorite “It’s not all that you think” comment came from one of the first few who ever walked into my blog, Darryl.  He was very passionate about what he wrote, but we found a common ground in this discussion, and in our common love for Paris.

Whether it is an academic discourse, a business meeting or a discussion between friends, there has to be respect between those speaking so that you can keep the communication lines open.  Everyone gets more out of the conversation when people keep an open mind instead of expecting people to to adhere to their own personal standards of what life is all about.  Have you ever heard that line — let us agree to disagree?

Like in real life, I appreciate it when I get corrected for as long as it’s meant to be constructive and not condescending.  I am not perfect.  I have my own spelling dilemmas (those words you keep mispelling no matter how elementary they may be), and my grammar is far from perfect.  (I just have a way of making it sound good even if it may not be grammatically sound.. LOL)  What I appreciate most is people giving me their take on what I said, rather than being critical of me or of what I said.  My Mom succeeded in imbibing in me that thought that we cannot always agree all the time.  No matter how noble or pure your intentions may be, there will always be someone who will not agree with what you’re saying.  (Just as I’m sure there’s someone out there shaking his or her head in disagreement with what I am writing or part of what I have written here.)  I believe that’s part of the beauty of humankind.  The fact that we come in different colors, shapes and sizes is such a big wonder!  I have come to realize, too, that there are those who are trapped in a warped and narrow sense of appreciation of the things around them that all they see are the negative things about what they come across.  Remembe ther glass filled halfway with water? — to some it’s half empty, to some it’s half full.

When we read other people’s blogs, we tread on their world.  I welcome everyone who takes the time to read my blog and I am heartened by the fact that there are those who keep coming back.  I have no illusions that I am being read by half of Manila or the Filipinos here in New York or in the US — again, I blog for my personal benefit, selfish as that may sound.  If I contribute to your day, if I make you smile, if my words make you think, if you find something useful — then that’s a big bonus.  But as Captain Obvious said in his blog, he makes his own grammar rules.. I make my own blog rules, too.  If you can’t hack it, go read someone else’s blog..  If you can’t leave a real e-mail address, go hide behind your anonymity by leaving a comment elsewhere.  You will not get any comments published here.

I don’t want to think some people resort to it just to ruin my day.  Pang-asar ba.  After I noticed a pattern, I stopped letting it get to me and I just let it go.  I discovered it wasn’t anything personal — some people just have a habit of seeing the dark instead of the light.  Perhaps that is where they find their fulfillment.  Just not my cup of tea.

If there’s one thing I have learned in my 40 years of existence in this world, it is that an open mind allows you to continue to grow.  Something I dislike or hate might actually have a redeeming value I have yet to see because I’ve been blinded by my bias.  So if I eat balut and I love the almost formed chick inside, don’t pelt me with derision because you have no idea how good a treat it is.  Something someone else might love, I might actually dislike.  It doesn’t make that other person wrong — it just means we’re not the same.

I’d just like to keep the blog conversations going.. you don’t have to pat my back, just don’t slap me by the wrist…

4 thoughts on “Blog Conversations

  1. 🙂 I perfectly agree on the points you raised here. An open mind sees and understands things even if you disagree on various points… Like you, I have the same mindset when blogging. I don’t expect people to agree and believe and form part of mutual admiration society – but yes, when blurting out perspectives, there will always be ways of throwing their .02 without being condescending – and I think that is one etiquette we should NEVER forget. Very well said, Dinna! 🙂


  2. ugh. i totally agree, d. although i would have to admit that before, i was so conscious about readership (i wrote about it too in my blog). blame it on jher who placed a pinoy top blog rater/counter/whatever on my site, of which i became obssessed with! is the arrow up? is the arrow down? do i now have a number? but i finally got tired so i sat down and asked myself, why do i blog? and it all came back to me why i wanted to blog in the first place: because I want to. not to make other laugh or cry, but just because I want to express myself in writing. so from then on, everything just became better. another important lesson learned. 🙂


  3. Hi there pinaynewyorker! I just discovered your blog today and I found it very interesting. Just started blogging myself. I hope you will find time to read my blogsite
    If you find it interesting also, maybe we can have a linkage in our blogs. Since I am new in the blogging world, I tread slowly. So before I post you in my site, I want to get your approval first. Hope we can be blogmates. 🙂


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