Happy Birthday, Kuya..I know you are resting in peace

Most people think I’m the eldest in a brood of four.  I’m actually the second child of 5, because I have an elder brother who died at birth.  Four years my senior, my parents had named him Silvano.  Tomorrow would’ve been his 44th birthday.

All I have of Kuya are the pictures showing him in his tiny white casket.  One picture shows my Dad looking down at him in grief.  He would’ve been a very handsome boy.  He had the fine features of my brother Abril but more doll-like.

There was a very vivid dream from a long time ago where I “saw” Kuya alive.. all grown up, older than me, walking what looked like a college campus stairwell, talking to me.  I had cried while talking to him because I knew he was dead, but there he was, in front of me.  I don’t remember the circumstances in my world then, or when exactly that was — I just remember the feeling.  It has never left me.

It reaffirmed a bond I had really never forgotten although he was never physically a part of my world. 

Sometimes I can’t help but think how different my world would’ve been if he had been around.  I wouldn’t have had to take up the cudgels of being the eldest child.  I would’ve had someone to “fear” or be wary of, so many what ifs that will forever be just points to speculate about.

I never knew him yet feel I know him so well.  Happy 44th birthday, Kuya..

0 thoughts on “Happy Birthday, Kuya..I know you are resting in peace

  1. I’m deeply sorry to hear that, it breaks my heart when I heard of someone dies. I don’t know how to comfort someone in grief. And for any reason, a death of a child is probably the most traumatic events for parents and somewhat they would feel that life is just so unfair.

    But no matter how I grieve for someone, I never really cry at the funerals. I was even caught smiling at the camera when my grandfather died. I was 6 that time. But I cried when my father died seven years ago.

    Happy bday to your Kuya. God Bless.


  2. Dinna

    Death is always a sad topic, don’t you agree? I know that although we move on, there is always a part of us that continues to grieve for the loss of a loved one. Your Lolo is always with you. God bless, too, K..


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