Although I sent most of my cards tardily, I sent out a few I could have foregone this year. Holiday greetings to Angel’s Ninong Vince, our own Ninong and Ninang who were like second parents to me here in the US, and the sisters of Ninong who we used to see a lot in family gatherings.
I’m sure they were rather surprised to get a Christmas greeting from us given what had happened earlier this year. When Alan’s sister decided she wanted to have nothing to do with him and his Mom anymore, that effectively severed our ties with her brother-in-law (Angel’s Ninong), her parents-in-law (our Ninong and Ninang), and Ninong’s sisters, both of whom we affectionately referred to as Titas, and who we ended up chatting with during the family gatherings because we were in the same circle. They were there for my baby shower, Angel’s baptism, and although they missed Angel’s first birthday party, they were present some Christmases and New Years. To Alan and myself, they were family. Before the last word was spoken during that heated exchange — mostly in writing — we wrote Angel’s Ninong and our Ninong and Ninang that we know that this means we will no longer be seeing them like we used to, and we understand. After all, a brother is a brother — and a son is a son. There are some things that you just have to live with and respect.
I simply sent Angel’s holiday photo, with a simple note: From the Gonzalezes. I hope that with that card, we can let them know we have not forgotten they used to be part of our family, and that if we meet them on the streets, in the subway, or wherever, they can be sure it will be a warm hello they will get.
After all, Alan’s sister is still actively in touch with the stepson. To him, this does not involve him, forget about how his father feels. But that’s another blogpost. Sometimes, we just have to exercise delicadeza in situations like this, no matter how others blatantly disregard it. We wish them well.. wherever they may be.