I’m spending some time with a close friend from high school tomorrow, and I have asked if I could send a few things home.  Just  a book for my sister and one of our other classmates who I am still in touch with, and pictures and dad’s shaver.  She said yes so I’ve been busy pulling everything together.

I just wanted to send my sister’s copy of the autographed Osteen book and a business book to my friend who is a professional lecturer and consultant back in Manila.  I wanted to send new pictures of Angelo to my Mom and Dad, and send my birthday greetings to my Mom.  Angel’s grown a lot and I have been promising Mommy I will send some new ones to her, big enough to frame, so I’ve printed everything in 5×7 printouts.

I had a tough time writing my letter to Dad because I felt hurt and it was difficult to “let things slide” as I had written before.  I wanted to tell him about how and what I felt, but at the same time, I didn’t want him to feel bad because the truth is, I don’t really want to make things worse.  He has only a little time left with us, and I don’t want to waste what’s left of his years with me dwelling on my pain.

So since it all started because he didn’t get the shaver he was waiting for, I’m sending him a new one with the matching refills to last him the year.  

I will probably rewrite my letter.  I don’t feel good about what I have written there even if I had written it in pretty diplomatic language.  It is just so difficult to mask the “hurt”.  I wish he would just come around again.  I haven’t called him to say hello for a while now because I really don’t want to say anything I would regret later.  I hope the shaver takes care of it all and help my own hurt fade away some. 

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