Taking a deep breath..

(Warning:  This is the Pinay New Yorker whining away yesterday, Thursday, March 10..)

My Facebook status declares “It’s going to be another challenging day.. (deep breath)..” — so here I am, taking one — and a big one at that — hoping to muster a sigh of relief.  Not yet.

I’ve been frantically e-mailing the last hour trying to set up coverage at work.  I’m taking a personal day and making sure someone covers for me even if I know the boss feels it’s not necessary.  (I had to write an e-mail convincing her about the wisdom behind having someone sitting where I’m supposed to be at when I can’t be there..)  I feel like I’m caught between a rock and a hard place but I don’t have a choice.  It doesn’t look too good to be taking too much time off to take care of personal business when you just started at a new posting 8 weeks ago,  (big sigh..)  and more so when you’re pining for a raise.  (Looking up to the heavens now and saying a prayer..)  But what can I do..that’s life.

It’s also a tad bit difficult trying to do everything I’m trying to do even when I know it’s being taken against me where it matters.  I am lucky I have Alan on my side, but not that I am being paranoid — there are sinister forces at work, trying to bring Gotham Chick down.  (I’m blabbing and venting and not making sense, I know.  Couldn’t help the plug.. HAHA!)

With Alan still halfway through a two-week business trip, dealing with Angelo and school solo, I am also going at it alone trying to take care of my mother-in-law who had to take a brief “vacation” at a local hospital.  She’s been given a clean bill of health — well, good enough to be released — but at almost 80 years old, many parts are no longer working like they used to.   We have been assured it wasn’t a heart attack, and half a dozen tests later, she’s been given permission to come home.

I am grateful for doctors who take the time to call and give actual updates to me on a daily basis, and nurses who patiently take my calls, specially the one asking them to check on my mother-in-law’s phone repeatedly which has been unanswered since last night.  We finally connected and so I will hie off to the hospital to fetch her midday today.   (I just let out an audible sigh there and paused for a bit.)  It has been a challenging past few weeks as we have been dealing with those so-called “sinister forces” working behind our backs and trying to add some spice to our otherwise blissful homelife.  All I can say is, that’s life.  And while we give it our best, we cannot always please everyone.  There will always be those who will not be happy with who and what we seek to accomplish and do in our every day lives.  There will always be a Bella Flores or two lurking in the wings.  (I found myself smiling at that reference to one of my all time favorite kontravidas..how apt!)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — while most daughters-in-law would raise an eyebrow when I tell them my mother-in-law lives with me, I always say I’m lucky to have her.  While we are not close like mother and daughter, she has not been the stereotype meddling mother-in-law we read and hear about or know from experience.  But it’s not that easy competing with the malicious attempts of others to distort or put a strain on that relationship because of their own dislike of me.  Plus of course, I’m not the perfect daughter-in-law.  One, I work — so I am not your homemaker/stay-at-home mom. Two, I am not exactly a gourmet chef but I do consider myself a good diner-cook for being able to whip up 3 different meals for the carnivore hubby, the picky eater son and the diabetic mother-in-law most nights of the week.  (Another audible sigh..)

When there seems to be no answer to the “Why”‘s of life, I simply count my blessings.  My boys (father and son) are healthy, and I am, too.  We may not be rich but we are comfortable.  In these uncertain economic times, Alan and I continue to have jobs.  (And the truth of the matter is, I have been doubly blessed in that regard despite all the setbacks in my own situation at work.  It seemed I took a step backward, and two steps forward — what more can I ask for?)  When people talk about Paris, I don’t talk about wanting to go there but instead about wanting to go back there.  In the craziness of it all, I have friends and family around me who make me feel hugged, my crafts, my words, and that special connection to the big guy up there who always gives me that tap to remind me He is always by my side.  Now that’s a relief.. (Audible sigh — of relief, this time — with matching smile on the face.)

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