Alan did a load of laundry last night and I told him to leave the bag next to the sofa so I can fold them all. I sat in the middle and folded at leisure, smoothing out the shirts on a throw pillow and then laying them in piles to my left and right. There wasn’t much but it wasn’t exactly a small batch. Mostly Angelo’s clothes. Alan and I have always made a joke of how good I am at folding — so much so that a career in clothing retail would suit me just fine. (And why not? I’d go for the discounts!)
I caressed his jeans flat and folded them into four, marveling at how much he has grown. He fills up a regular size 6 pair nicely making him look like a little guy — literally. His current favorites are his new GAP jeans which, kudos to their design team, have switched from actual button fly to buttons with hooks under them. Since we got his new dresser in IKEA a few weeks back, I’ve had more room for his shirts so I don’t have to fold them differently to make them fit into the drawers. I paired his socks and folded them flat with one enveloping the other but not in a bulky or awkward clump.
CSI New York was on. I took my time and just pulled batches out of the bag until I was done. Then I sat back and just rested. It was “me” time.
I haven’t had the chance to create any new pieces of late. Too many things have been happening at home. Alan has been a source of strength and comfort. Angelo, with his tiny hands, has provided me much solace by tapping my back as he hugged me to comfort me. I don’t even have to think hard to be reminded how blessed I have been.
There are many things that we do on an everyday basis that provide great comfort if we only recognize them for the relaxation they bring. There’s a cadence even to washing dishes on the sink which I find calming. Perhaps it’s the sound and feel of warm water on my hands. Or seeing the sink emptied into an orderly pile on the dish rack.
I’m trying to get used to preparing for the next morning the night before beyond making sure the coffeemaker is ready. I pack away Angelo’s snack and his things.
I’m in the midst of researching alternative care arrangements for Angelo, and it is turning out to be an emotional time for me as I gear up for possibly a major change in routines to make the schedules work. But that’s motherhood. For starters, I’ve started setting my alarm clock to 5am, although I still end up getting up at past 6am — our usual time.
It’s going to be an adjustment.
But my boy is growing up. Adjustments are part of life. We’ll make it.
Tonight I will do some handwashing. Another therapeutic chore. I just have some clothes which need to be handwashed and not tortured by the pulling and tugging of the washing machine. I even imported some bars of PERLA detergent. (When I’m out, there’s good old Ivory Soap or one of the more fragrant bath soaps I can use.)
I am trying to adjust the time I end my day as well. Again, just getting ready.