Typical procrastinating me — or maybe it’s because a trip to Manila got in the way, my Christmas card is finally done but remains unsent. (Well, save for two that made it to the post office in Manila — or are about to make it to the post office in Manila.) I’m counting on our good old USPS to get the mail to the Philippines in record time — the post holiday backlog notwithstanding.
Better late than never, many say. Indeed.
Here’s a true labor of love zentangled by yours truly, embellished by paper bought from good old National Bookstore. =) My cards are addressed, just have to write the dedication in. I finally decided not to use any pre-printed message but to instead go blank. There are different messages and much too long a thought to compress into a few lines, so I thought I’d just go freehand.
It’s the first day of 2012 and I’m so glad New York is resplendent with sunshine. A perfect way to begin the year — no rain, no snow.. just sunshine.
2011 was sort of an “in transition,” “in between,” year for me. It saw me grieving and coping with Dad’s death in July 2010, transitioning from one boss to another but keeping my job yet again, and a thousand other things that got me from here to there. It seemed to be a neverending journey that in many respects is still ongoing. At the very least, I’m well on my way.
Grief seems to have settled in quite nicely in my world — and although I have come to accept Dad’s passing, the pain remains. The problems which we thought would be solved are not quite solved yet. There are many questions that remain unanswered. But although the pain hasn’t lessened, it has gotten easier to cope with. It has become a friend.
I did manage to visit Dad’s tomb at the North Cemetery during the trip home. The trip was strangely personal and specific to him even if my dear Aunt Lydia’s remains lay in the same crypt. That was for Dad and only Dad. I continue to pray that he find eternal rest — that hopefully, our prayers have lifted him back to the arms of God. Over the weekend, I’ve been listening to Anima Christi on YouTube, and the line where they sing “And when the call of death arrives, bid me come to thee so I may praise thee with they saints forever..” brings me back to Dad. I pray he is finally at peace in Heaven, wherever that may be for him.
I am hopeful for 2012. 2011 was a step up and a step forward. It can only move to good from better.
One thing I have realized is that some things take time, and some answers are not as apparent as others. Realizations can take years. Feelings from decades ago that have been long forgotten can be stirred anew. Grudges that one thought had been swept under the rug suddenly come alive again. Storylines left hanging suddenly find a continuation and direction after one had forgotten all about it. People who had come into our lives and had quietly slipped away return back on tiptoe and move us anew.
Here’s to a better and more prosperous year ahead for all of us.