I had written this blog post my Sunday evening but held off on publishing it here in the blog. There are times when the blog post comes out spontaneously, but something makes me want to just keep it in draft for until such time I’m comfortable posting it. Here goes..
The past few weeks have been challenging to say the least. I would’ve hoped that the stress would have eased up but instead, more challenges have cropped up. The weekend, thankfully, was productive and quiet. I must’ve created around a dozen and a half rosary bracelets made of czech pressed glass beads and some gemstones. I wish I had enough time and energy to create matching earrings, but I am not pushing it.
I have finally moved on with my reading although I am leaning more towards the spiritual. I read a few verses here and there. I have tried to catch up with the snail mail writing but have been busy waiting for friends to go online, but alas, it must’ve been a busy weekend for most of them.
I am trying to muster all my resources to start my week off ready and prepared for what promises to be yet another challenging one. Last Friday, I came upon some information rather by accident, but which, it turns out was providential, as I now come to work armed with the proper composure to deal with the news. Don’t you find it uncanny how sometimes, things unfold in such a way that something meant to be kept from you is actually revealed to you in a most casual way — and you end up forewarned and forearmed. I can imagine how I would have been caught off guard if I was not so lucky.
It doesn’t make the challenge disappear, it just gets me ready to deal with it better. And just when I was hoping things would ease up a bit. ..
Last Friday, I was thinking to myself, what else can possibly go wrong? I thought the heartaches and worries of the last two weeks were burden enough — then more came my way. And as if that wasn’t enough, I have been asked by my doctor to come in for more tests, but I don’t think I can deal with any more bad news at the moment, so I am postponing that for the end of the month, or early April. I don’t know if I can keep it together if I get any more unpleasant news or challenges at the rate I’ve been given piece after piece.
I take a deep breath and try to compose my thoughts. I sought the help of a friend and I got a flat out no. Another deep breath and I whisper a prayer. Someone, somewhere will hear. I let it go.
I always used to say that God gives us only that which we can handle. I am looking to that for strength. Even when everyone else fails me, He will not. He will always be there, no matter what. So when the doors close, I know He will show me the one that He will hold open for me. I just need to raise my head up again and look His way.
We often find ourselves relying on promises made by those who say they will take care of us. And then we wake up one day, and those friends are gone. Our pleas for help or assistance are ignored or refused.. it makes me wonder if there was a time at all those promises were real and true. I let it go. If I press on and ask, the answers might be more than my heart can bear at this time.
Fe says the universe has a way of correcting itself in its own time. Perhaps — someday…
For now I have the week ahead to tackle. There’s work Monday… A journey I have to make. .. People I have to meet with… A birthday to celebrate… “He gives us only that which we can handle,” I remind myself. I’m struggling to wish the dark thoughts away but I can’t shake them off. Not today. I am still hoping I’ll find the door that He is holding open for me. Hopefully soon.