I haven’t been quite as prolific filling up the 30 days prompts, and I really want to finish at least ten of the 30 before midweek. I’ve done 4 with this as the fifth.
So what would I tell my sixteen year old self if I could?
1. You’re doing great. When I was sixteen, I was a senior in high school. My junior year was rather challenging, and I survived it by sheer luck, I think. By the time I turned 16 during the summer, I was in the middle of taking summer classes for Trigonometry. The year itself was eventful but easier. I kept wondering though if I should be doing more to move ahead. I kept feeling that I was turning out to be a disappointment to my parents.
(Deep breath on that one.)
I would’ve bee great to hear that I was doing okay.. or doing great would have been more reassuring. Because looking back now, I was doing great. I would be Ms. Goody-two-shoes to some people, but years later, I look back with pride that I had a fun senior year in high school that saw me moving on to a smooth transition to adulthood, even if I was what you would also consider a late bloomer. Late was good. Nothing was forced, and I had more choices to pick from as a result. I was lucky to be where I was at at that age.
I lost some opportunities because of my academic failure the year before, but as a whole, I did pretty well. Of course, at the time I felt like I was such a disappointment even to myself.
2. You’ll be fine. It was a time of a lot of self-doubt. I would tell my younger self that I would be okay without revealing what would happen in the future. I was so full of anxiety about where I would land for college, what did I really want to do? Which course should I pick? Which school would take me?
I was also a very shy teen-ager. I was conscious around boys. I would tell my younger self that that was just okay. That it wouldn’t always be that way, and that I would eventually find myself being best friends with boys which wouldn’t have occurred to me given my awkwardness around them at that age.
3. Things will get better. It was at this age where I think I took Murphy’s Law to heart, thinking things were getting worse and it woudl take a miracle to get things to turn around.
And things DID get better.
4. You’ll be able to realize your dreams. At this point in time, I had made my mind up I would go to law school. I already knew that I just had to go through college so that I could eventually get to pursue my life’s dream to take up law and become a lawyer.
5. You’re more than who you think you are. I was very insecure about who I was or how good I was. It felt like I was constantly seeking approval and not getting it. Teenage angst. I got over it but it was agonizing to go through it.
Looking back now I guess I can indeed say I did well… insecurities and all.