Daily Prompt: Write about something you consider “ugly” — war, violence, failure, hatred — but try to find beauty, or a sense of hope, in your thoughts.
Epic failure. We’ve all heard that phrase at one time or another, usually in reference to a sarcastic remark or a taunting retort to something that didn’t quite work out as we had hope it would.
Between the examples above (although I am aware that I need not confine my post to the exact words in the prompt): “war”, “violence”, “failure’, “hatred” — “FAILURE” speaks to me in capital letters, loud and clear.
But I want to focus more on the lessons learned and the so-called silver lining behind all that had happened.
I can say that whatever failure I had come across, I am grateful that I can say now that I know myself better, and I look at the world with more pragmatic eyes. (or jaded?) I have mellowed many grades down, learning how to fade into the background instead of being in the spotlight where I used to be. No, it’s not the background, I’ve become part of the audience. I watch and listen. And I just watch and listen.
In the same way that we usually underestimate ourselves, there are many respects where we often overestimate our capabilities. Sometimes it takes a personal failure for us to get a better grasp of who and what we really are. It is what we do with what we learn and what we find after the dust has settled that gives us that silver lining.
Speaking for myself, I like the mellowing down. It’s given me a more practical view of life. I am not wont to go for the fairy tale endings anymore. HAPPY is no longer spelled in capital letters. I’ve learned to appreciate the regular happy things — the smaller signs that someone up there is watching out for me — and I savor that and say thank you. I’ve learned to appreciate who and what I am, realizing that the years have changed me, and what I used to be is just that – WHAT I USED TO BE.
I’ve learned to rely more on myself in the absence of friends who used to be around every waking moment. The silence has helped me listen to my own thoughts instead of regurgitating someone else’s. The silence has made me appreciate the presence of those who, while they may be silent themselves, are forever present in my life.
Failure can either break you or make you stronger, and while I have to admit I have been broken in some respects, I’d like to think it has made me a better person, if only because I have “come down to earth” so to speak, looking at the world with more pragmatic eyes.