100 Ideas 2013: Dear Mom

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28.  Write a letter to someone you admire.

I don’t mean to be cliche-ish but I didn’t want to rack my brain about some popular person among my list of people I admire.  I wanted to make this entry personal and real, and when it came to that, I didn’t have to think about it too long.

Dear Mom,

I know I don’t write you anymore, simply because as I have grown older and I see you growing older yourself, missing you has become even more difficult.  Sometimes I want to write you a note, but I’m afraid that you might end up teary-eyed, because I often do at the thought of how I wish I was there with you.

I have always been a great fan of yours for your strength and resolve to become a better you.  You never let your lack of formal education or your circumstances thwart you desire to make life better for us.  You always put us first, no matter what.  You are my role model as a mother to my son, and as a woman of strength and unwavering resolve.  I know that much of who I am today is because of you.

From the faith in God that you instilled in me to your willpower and strength to overcome that I find in my heart now, you continue to be a beacon for me and my siblings. 

Every time I see you, you seem to age more and more.  And I get reminded by the fact that there will come a time when even that will be a memory.  Even now as I write this, I feel a tightening in my chest.  When I take care of my mother-in-law here, I wish it was you I was taking care of.  I long for our chats in Bicolano — I think mine has gotten rusty for lack of practice.

I miss you, Mom.  I wish you could be here to keep me strong.  But even in thought alone, you keep me strong.  I see you and remember all that you had gone through and all that you had conquered and I find hope that yes, I can do the same.  You kept that optimism alive in our hearts by showing us by example that hope is never-ending.

I love you, Mama.

Dinna

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