I had intended to take a picture of today’s breakfast treat to accompany this post, but it disappeared before I could. I cooked up some Spanish chocolate and dunked ssome slices of Edam cheese. Yum! Not quite the quezo de bola that would have made for the perfect pairing, but when in New York, you make do. I simmered the chocolate “coins” and stirred in a teaspoon of butter (to keep it from boiling over) and let it stay on the lowest setting to make sure it was all cooked through. This is yet another one of my weird eating habits because most people wouldn’t combine the two in a cup. I get the chocolate to near-boiling, and then I drop the slices of cheese into a cup of this sinful beverage. I let it sit long enough for the cheese to soften (or melt, as was the case with this very soft Edam), and I scoop the cheese out with a spoon to eat with my bread of choice. Today, it was just simple potato bread dinner rolls.
I really should pay a visit to the Filipino store in Woodside to check if they have the Marca Pina queso de bola available already.
The weekend has been quiet and uneventful, and I’m hoping to get more done today. I’m just staying put at home. I had offered Peter brunch in the city, but he begged off. Perhaps it’s all for the best just so I can get more tidying up done. One cabinet at a time.
I found the cake decor on Angelo’s first birthday cake when we did a Sesame Street theme, and while I had Big Bird, Cookie Monster and Elmo originally, one of my guests took Elmo and I was powerless to take it back. (A special child of the ex sister-in-law… I do have a heart and decided not to ask for it at the end of the party.). That, along with some invitations (baby shower, baptism, and yes, my wedding) went into the memory box holding those tidbits of his younger years in my closet. I just love how his eyes glimmer when we go through the contents of that box occasionally. Soon, I will have to get a bigger repository of memories! Keeping mementos has always been a weakness of mine — so much so that I have collected bits and pieces which are now totally useless and meaningless. It’s uncanny how things change meanings for us through the years, and what once was so precious can suddenly be indispensable after a period of time. So those that have lost meaning have found their way into the trash bag.
Not too long ago, I vowed to destash and find a home for the things I had hoped to get rid of. I am collecting my Artist trading cards (ATCs) to send to my friend, Raine. I don’t have the time to sort through the postcards just yet, so I am putting the unsorted ones in a box to be dealt with later. Although I feel like I have barely done anything, I think I’m making good progress. No procrastinating and that’s an accomplishment by itself.
I am seriously trying and working on getting things done, inch by inch, box by box. I’m not going as fast I had hoped, but thinking about not being able to do it at the pace I was hoping to do it was just stressing me more and stalling my productivity, so I’ve learned to let that go. Sometimes, overthinking things can slow us down more than help us as we try to move forward. The point is to just do it.
I am trying to shake off the shackles that are keeping me from moving on. It hasn’t been easy. Sometimes I feel as though I’m making strides, but in truth, I am moving and not accomplishing anything. Too many questions are racing through my mind, and the occasional unpleasant memory that pokes at my mind and heart don’t help. I keep telling people I’m okay — and for the most part, it’s true — but there’s a part of me that is stalled and feels like a car struggling to get out of the pothole it’s gotten stuck in. The important thing is that I’m aware of where I am, and I am trying my hardest to work my way out of it.
Sometimes it’s as simple as changing the photo in a picture frame. I found one hidden behind a couple of frames above a tall shelf and saw a dust-covered photograph, a memory more than a decade old. I wiped the frame clean and found something more relevant to my “now”. I put that photo in my bedroom where I will be able to see it and be reminded of what’s important to me at the present time. It’s a simple yet powerful reminder that I have to move on.. The wooden frame was etched with the word “FAMILY” and some emotional words that define it. Even that has changed meaning for me and the new picture — one of Angelo and I — embodies what that means to me now.
I have started reading again. That’s another blog post, though, so let me hit “publish” now before this starts languishing in my “draft” folder yet again. Here’s to a wonderful week ahead for all of us..