When you fail again

It’s been a couple of months since the 2018 Bar Exam results came out in May, and I’m sure the world has moved forward for those hopefuls, whether they passed or failed. Through the years before I passed to several years after, I always knew of someone who was waiting on those results. There was a sense of joy for those who hurdled the exam, and a sense of sadness for those who did not. Having known the struggle and having had a particularly challenging bar review and bar exam myself, I can only imagine the heartache and disappointment of not seeing your name on the list of successful board passers. I was one of the lucky ones who made it on my first try.

I still feel envious of those who can and could afford to take a sabbatical from work and devote themselves to reviewing and getting ready for the four weeks of exams 24/7, or even those who can take it slow even just the six months prior. I was only able to do that the four weeks that the exam was on.

It was a long and arduous journey and I clung to blind faith. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I studied and listened to the pre bar week lecture reviews and hung on to every word for dear life. During the exams itself, I had many friends who assisted me and made sure I got home and was fed. They brought me lunch for the breaks in between. And they prayed with me.

I am not a stranger to friends who suffered failure taking the bar exams. It isn’t an easy task to hurdle. And each time I know someone close to me has failed, I feel the pain up close.

I am hopeful. Yet I respect their choice to plod on or not. That is a choice for them to make. I can only stand by their side and support them in the decision they choose. My friend says he’s good.. he has achieved a lot in his career and to that, I agreed. He is already a success, bar exam fail notwithstanding.

#10DayWritingChallenge Day8