Catching up

Beautiful #Springday in #NYC today as I walked through #BryantPark past the #NewYorkPublicLibrary. #springInNYC #manhattan #midtown #midtownmanhattan #tulips #flora #flowers #mynewyork #mynyc

I remember not too long ago, there was someone who told me flatly he could only help one person at a time and he turned around and “left”.  Some things just stay with you.  Even if not for the magnitude of it, but simply for the profound effect its brutal frankness has on you.  Another weird analogy:  a knife and an ice pick can inflict as lethal an injury as the other.  So it’s not size.  It’s all those other things that make it hurt.

It was a no.  It was direct.  And yes, at the time, it hurt.

I guess I’m just not that type of person who would say no or refuse to help unless it was absolutely impossible for me.  And always, if I can’t, I would find a way to find someone who can.  But that’s just me.

Again, someone was talking to me about “default settings”.  Some people are just wired to try their darnedest to help.  (Reminds me of Sir Davos who asked the forlorn Melisandre to bring back my fave Game of Thrones character, Jon Snow.) You just can’t give up.  I know I don’t easily give up.  Not on life, not on me, not on others.

So even when it seems I’m not accomplishing anything much, and I am almost “stalled”, I tell myself, “Get up and try again.”  Or simply, “Go!”

Write.

Craft.

Learn  something new.

Write.

So here I am.

Again, I’ve fallen behind in my craft space, although I have a post (or two) in the works.  And I’m behind responding to queries from the thirty or so people who actually read my blog. (Ha!  And yes, post is being drafted.)

Life happens.

Right now, work is good — busy but in a good way.  And slow though it may be, I think my plans for rebooting my life in general are well underway.  Still, I feel like I could’ve done more or want to do more and haven’t.  Going back to my ‘lists’ helps.  But there are those days when you just freeze or vegetate and not do a thing.  Not good.

I am my worst critic.  For the longest time, I listened to someone whose opinion mattered the most to me and believed I was less than who I was for failing that person’s expectations.  Then one day, I just woke up and realized the person I was looking at in the mirror wasn’t me anymore.  That “me” crawled out from under and shed that exterior that wasn’t mine.  I look back now and realize I had let myself down.  But I’m back.  I like “me” as I see her now.  I actually believe I haven’t done so badly the last couple of months, and things are only getting better.

I’m trying to catch up.. getting there.  Post done.  There.

 

 

Weekend to weekend

Handmade Card: Hand-drawn tree on laser printed background
Hand-drawn on a reproduction of a watercolor background I had originally done for an Art Journal Every Day entry

So I have been remiss, I know.  I’ve been busy and blogging takes a tad bit more effort when I have to skirt around security issues at work which, alas, were “lifted” magically.  I’m not going to ask, I’m not going to complain.  I’m just going to blog.

This card here is going to get on its way to a friend soon.  Bringing well wishes, prayers and a warm hug to boot.  I wish I could deliver it personally, but sometimes you need to keep away and just let the card do the talking.  My friendship with this lady has been mostly on paper literally the last couple of years.  We have kept the postal service on its toes, although I had given them a break the past few months.  She is also one of a handful of people I make sure I see whenever I land in Manila.

Well, I am back.  I’m glad it’s Friday again.  I’m going to try and catch up with the Newspaper Collage Postcards which I haven’t done for most of the week.  I also uploaded a tutorial or how-to on my postcards in GothamChick if any one is interested.

A sad thing just happened a few blocks away from where I work.  And to think I had just passed that very same area around 40 minutes before this shooting around the Empire State Building took place.  I have nothing more to say about it at this point except a silent prayer for all.  Thank you, though, to those who messaged me on Facebook, via text and e-mail.

I’m thinking if I get to get out of the office early enough, I’ll make a stop at the Columbus Circle branch of Michael’s.  That would make two boys happy since it means I won’t have to make the stop during our errand run this weekend.  I am always grateful that they indulge me even if sometimes the lines get really long and it takes me forever and a day to get whatever it is I’m getting 40% off or what not.

It’s really quite a ways away from me, but a detour worth making given that polymer clay is currently at 4 for $5 again.  I try to stock up on polymer clay when that happens because I want to get it at its cheapest.  (The economics of maintaining a hobby.)  But again, it depends on what time I can make it out of here in Midtown where I am.

I’m also thinking I’ll just head straight home.  I have a burger dinner date with the son — home-made angus beef burgers from Pat LaFrieda of FreshDirect.  Yum!  Time for me to go.. my weekend just started.