Thank you for making my day (Feedback on feedback)

Thank you for making my day… I am always thrilled to read that (1) I actually have readers .. And my running joke is there are maybe 20 or so readers out there who keep my blog from slipping into oblivion. Those who have read up my posts about blogging per se know that I don’t really write to cultivate readership, so I am happy with my small group of readers!  In addition, I love to know that (2) what I write actually resonates with others– more so the younger generation. I know I have been given a gift to write like I do but to be able to do more than pull the words together — to actually be able to speak to someone out there– that, to me, is a blessing.

There are emails and comments that I cut and paste, but others that I prefer to just respond to.  This will be one of the latter.

Thank you, A, for writing.. for speaking your heart out, and for reminding me that I was a tad harsh with the reference to doubting in my previous post, “To each his own (So you made it!)“.  Please do not give up no your dream because there is that doubt present in your heart and mind.  That was not my intention, but I do realize it might have come across differently.

It appears that one particular paragraph I had written had struck a cord and had caused A to second guess her doubting heart.

Any half-hearted effort will land you someplace you wouldn’t want to be.  So ask yourself now if you’re up to it, because if there is even an iota of doubt in your mind or deep in your heart, you should seriously think of changing paths.  It is never too late to back out of a dream or a pursuit or a journey — whatever you may want to call it, for as long as you do it out of your own choice.  Do not put yourself in a position where your circumstances force you to change direction.  Put your heart and soul into it, give it 110% (everyday!), and pray, pray, pray!

Ah, those persistent doubts that hound you forever and will keep hounding you unless everything starts going and staying in your head that you are the best without a shadow of a doubt.  (Yes, the doubts will disappear when you start thinking and believing you are THAT good..)

You will always have doubts in anything you do, and that is good, because it means you haven’t lost touch with the real you. It means you have your feet still rooted on the ground.  You know that even if you’re 90% genius, there is that 10% that gives you space to doubt and make room for modesty or humility or both.  To doubt is to recognize that you are not perfect, and that should challenge you to better yourself, while at the same time preparing you for those times when you actually take a fall.

I often have doubts, too, and there were times when I was lost and weak in the knees — to the point of giving up.  And I tried to make those doubts work for me, and not against me, by reminding myself that I have a dream I am working to achieve.  It is when those doubts creep up behind you that you need to remind yourself how badly you want this dream, and when you must take stock of the fact that you probably did something right, because you are now in law school.

Keep writing.. Keep believing and keep fighting for the dream you have in your heart.. I am still dreaming and believing and fighting and getting disappointed occasionally and I’m 50! But see, I can say I tried.. I got this and maybe I didn’t get that– but I tried..

And I’m still trying.

 

Into February – Feedback

The Empire State Building setting the mood for New York CityI have made it a habit to take a picture of the Empire State Building when it is all lit up in something colorful and today it was in all red. Trying to get New York in the mood for what others call Christmas of the hearts, I guess.

Again, another post not quite centered on one topic but which I just wanted to finish before I hit the sack.

It was a rather busy day that saw me doing a lot of things other than drafting or getting a post ready here.  Instead, I clicked to check stats occasionally but I didn’t see anything remarkable.  On my way home, I clicked on my wordpress app and saw a rather lengthy and very meaningful comment that truly made my day.  Thanks, Mike, for the note.  As I said, I will write more lengthily later although I can’t see what needs polishing given your comment.

Sometimes it’s the little things that mean a lot.  This was by no means “little”, but in the grander scheme of things, it was but a minute in my day but a full minute that made me pause a while to smile.

Try and make someone smile today.  All it might take might be a simple smile, a thank you, or a quiet acknowledgment of someone or something we usually take forgranted.
Thrice as colorful-the Empire State Building
 

The rationale behind comment moderation

… is that I refuse to be bullied or told off here on my own blog.  There was a time when a blog reader went around a pool of bloggers whose blogrolls had each other’s blogs on their list and taunted the blogger with non-sensical insults.  I shut her up by identifying her location based on her IP address.  Brooklyn, after all, is not too far from where I am.

I also refuse to be used to promote or tick up someone else’s blog stats. 

To those who feel they find something lacking in the way my blog is written or presented or it’s not exciting enough, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t really care about stats nor readership.  I’ve said it from the very start:  this blog is for my own personal benefit.  If it were a commercial site instead of a personal blog, it would probably be a different case.

Then I noticed that the comment was left by a URL hoping to land in my comment roll and have a few additional clicks for this product they are selling.  No, I didn’t bother to click.  I wouldn’t want my click raising their blog stats even by one.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Feedback on Feedback.. and Pinay New Yorker thanks you

I know I’ve always said I write for myself.  (Selfish but honest reason, in truth.)  I told cousin M that I have thought about monetizing the blog and trying to write more in line with something that would kick up the readership but it has torn me and ruined my writing focus.  Besides, I don’t have the time to even update my affiliate accounts at this point. However, it heartens me to see my viewer ticker moving up, thanks to WordPress’s stats.  I see a general picture of views vs. visitors, and the countries that have “popped in” .  I have to be honest, it’s gratifying to see people straying into my space, even if perhaps it was but a cursory glance. I wish I could bloghop as much as I used to, but work is getting busy (yes, I’m staying put).  I do “walk around” the blogsphere but have a hard time leaving comments because of software that block certain “pictures” or “fields” and I have to figure out which is which.

But this post is about Feedback on Feedback.. something which I used to do more promptly, but again, time is something I haven’t had much of lately, more so since I’m on the homestretch over two projects due next weekend.  I guess my request for people who visit to leave me a note sparked these three comments which have warmed my heart and spurred me to keep on writing.

JJ stopped by a few days ago and commented on one of my 30 days of Blogging Prompts posts: My Dream Job and said:

Hi! I have been reading your posts for quite sometime now, and I find them interesting. I chanced upon your blog many months back when I was trying to “search” or find information on what I would later find out as a common friend of ours, Pia K. It’s been ages since I last saw her in high school so I was wondering how she is. If you do get a chance, please do say HI.

I, too, lived in Manhattan, on the Upper East Side, in the late 1990s before moving to the Bay Area in 2000. To this day, NYC is still the best place for me and would return in a heartbeat. I try to visit as often as I can, the last being Christmas 2011.

I do enjoy your posts. Very candid. Personal. Best wishes, and happy birthday.

JJ

And the Pinay New Yorker says:

JJ, thanks for the visit and I will try to stop by when I get the chance to roam the blogsphere every now and again.  I am so envious about your son making it to Bellarmine!   And — talk about a small world..!  Pia K is a very dear friend… I will write about that via e-mail one of these days.  One thing I have found very gratifying with the kind of conversations I’ve had in this blog is that it has connected me with the most unlikely people I thought would walk in..

Thanks, again, JJ..

It takes some effort to leave a comment and we oftentimes read someone’s blog but leave without saying hello.  Not that it’s required, but if you enjoyed reading something or found yourself reacting to something that was said, every blogger who has their comment function on will agree that it is gratifying to read someone’s reaction to something you wrote.

Then a fellow member, Maricar, at Swap-bot stopped by and left a comment regarding my post, Five Strenghts and Five Weaknesses and said:

Found you through swapbot.. i am a filipina living in the emerald isle. nice blog. (mara76)

And the Pinay New Yorker (who goes by GothamChick on Swap-bot) says:

Mari, thanks for letting me know a fellow swapper’s been here.  I, too, try to find fellow-Filipina swappers on the site.  It was a postcard trading friend from Manila who brought me into swap-bot, too. (curiosakat)  Hope to bump into you in one of the swaps…thanks, again.

And finally, one of those comments that just makes you stop a while to take a deep breath, take it in and you find yourself smiling for that connection.  Clarita wrote in response to the same blog prompt:

I wish I had your motivation, resilience, strength, vision, patience, bravery, intelligence and much more when I was your age. I am too old now and all I could do is just dream of what I could have been. Sometimes I think we all have our own paths and I am walking on mine and its getting short now.

I read your blog and other Filipina blogs and I am so proud of all your achievements. I seldom leave comments but I thought this time its an exception. I wish you the best in all your endeavor.

To which the Pinay New Yorker says:

I am honored with the exception you afforded me by letting me hear your thoughts about the things I’ve written.  Thank you.  Your comment actually touched me in a different way much too profound for me to write about.  It’s one of those things where I find myself wondering if that was the universe talking to me again through you. 

Maraming salamat, po.

 

 

 

 

 

We never stop learning

Minutes to midnight and I’m back.  I thought the steak fajita would help, along with some Magnum afterwards, but nope, I didn’t quite get any help with the pain and discomfort beyond this feeling of happiness that filled my stomach.  Well, one part happy and feeling okay is better than all the parts of Dinna feeling all crappy. =)

And I got a very nice surprise from the boys after they left me at Michael’s to troll the aisles and get my pick for the week while they played at Dave & Buster’s.  I actually finished quicker than usual knowing what product I would get for my 40% off coupon for the week along with the acrylic paint colors I wanted to add to my supplies.  The lines were not inordinately longer than the usual “long”, and while I tried to sit and wait by the park bench inside the store (presumably there for the other waiting husbands or kids while Mom does her craft shopping) —  they were taking forever.  I ended up standing up again and grabbing  something else (using the smart coupon on my blackberry instead of the printed coupon I used the first time around), plus additional acrylic paints which were 40% off this week (you can’t beat that!), and still there was no sign of them.   Finally they pulled up by the entrance and I got in the car, and Angelo excitedly handed me a surprise present (and there was no occasion) — a new Michael Kors leather wallet… Speechless.

After that, it was Target.  I had no more energy to go anywhere else, and I would have even skipped Target, but I needed to get Angelo’s supplies for the coming week.  The growing boy eats a boatload of cereal and the current snack of choice: Rice Krispies.  Of course by the time we got home I realized I forgot to buy one important grocery item for the coming week: burger patties.  (The carnivore my son is has forsaken bacon for all beef burgers.)  The truth of the matter is that he prefers the ones from Pat LaFrieda of FreshDirect so I am not totally without recourse.

I tried to do some newspaper collage postcards to add to my Flickr album as I put Angelo to sleep, but all I managed to do was to finish one and I couldn’t quite get moving with the next.  I just wasn’t into it.  I gave it up and opted instead to browse the internet for images and videos about Artist Trading Cards and Mixed Media Art.  (No more postcards for me at least until Monday, I promised myself.)  When I went to pick up my album URL and I visited my Flickr Photostream, I was so amazed that the link I had submitted to the Art Journal Every Day linky list on Julie Fei-Fan Balzer’s blog had brought so many views to the graphic of my latest Art journal entry I wrote about below.  But what totally bowled me over where the words of artists — real artists — who hopped into my Flickr set based on that link and left a comment.  It totally made my day.  These are the people who teach me and inspire me to continue to aspire to create.

I always try to find something new that I learn from day to day.  The moment we stop trying to learn is the day we wilt away and die.  Even in the little things that don’t seem to matter, we learn.

Two nice surprises for the day — how can you beat that?  I know I should be so lucky.. sometimes I wonder why they keep coming when I am not deserving.  Then I remind myself to just take it as it comes — enjoy the moment before it passes — and move on.

Feedback on Feedback: Again, thanks…

I really appreciate those who take the time to drop by and leave a word or two.  I’d love to hear more from those who stop by here even if only accidentally, so I at least know who has been keeping my visitor counter moving.  (Not that it matters because I will keep blabbing on here come what may… or not.)

Marcia had stopped by to comment on the Feedback on Feedback post preceding this leaving such kind words:

“your art is really inspiring,especially for me. I do this same kind of art. I love pen and ink. Thanks for sharing your talents .. I hope its okay that I use you as a muse and for reference.. always giving you credit.”

And the Pinay New Yorker says: Marcia, thank you so much for the compliments — thank you, thank you, thank you.

Another comment from Shay:

“Thank you so much for the kind words..meant a lot. One day somewhere in New York or maybe back home, we get to meet, I will be able to say “Salamat” ha. :)

And the Pinay New Yorker says: Walang anuman, Shay. =)  And yes, I do hope to one day meet you — you never know when I”ll end up in the windy city, or maybe you’ll come and visit me here.. or maybe in Manila?

 And again from Shay, who is one of those who continue to egg me on to keep writing, who commented on Weekend Musings:

“an uneventful weekend is sometimes what we need from a hectic week having said this, is it weird that whenever a weekend comes and I don’t have anything to do I tend to get nervous? Good Morning Dinna! Sending you warm hugs and here’s to a fruitful week.”

And the Pinay New Yorker says:  No, Shay, not weird at all.  Happens to me all the time, too.. like this is too good to be true…!  But through the years, I’ve realized that we just have to take it as it comes and appreciate it for what it is.

So keep the comments coming.. and again, thanks for stopping by.

 

Waking before sunrise to a message from up above

I stirred at a few minutes before 3AM Manila time on Wednesday, realizing my cellphone did not ring when I had expected it to just before midnight here and noon in New York.  Angelo’s coming home midday as it’s Parent-Teacher Conference day in New York today.  So I stood up, freshened up and then dialed via ever reliable SKYPE.

I miss my boy.  I would have taken him with me if I had the budget and if he weren’t going through the prerequisites of First Communion like First Penance.  Besides, it’s not like two weeks is not going to set him back academically, and I don’t want to chance that on a whim.

I had not intended to doze off but my eyes were heavy with sleep when I set up the laptop and lay down beside it, cellphone on hand so I can hear it when Angelo does a missed call.  But I guess I was tired and totally out of energy after a most draining meeting with the people I was supposed to talk to on my family’s behalf tonight.

I tried to keep reminding myself I should stay positive as I tried to block out all the thoughts and feelings that have been weighing heavily on my mind and heart the past couple of weeks.  I had to shoo away all the negative energy to emit the right kind of aura that will hopefully give me some edge.  I had dressed for the occasion in a pant suit that was not too corporate nor too casual.  I was made up but not in my custom fashion — this was not the time to lose my eye liner but I made do with mascarra.  (This may seem trivial to some, but taking on the look is something I feel is very important when you are going to sit at a table to negotiate.)

My lawyer friend arrived first.  We caught up (I had been one of the secondary sponsors at his and his wife’s wedding, another classmate,) and we tried to strategize without overly thinking what it was we wanted to say.  Having him there beefed up my confidence.  I wasn’t among strangers.  This was a friend.

Then our opposing party arrived, lawyer present, too.  As luck would have it, the lawyer they brought was someone from my legal alma mater which they must’ve found an awkward advantage for us — and all it took was a simple, “You look familiar.  Did you go to Ateneo?”  As we were wont to do, batch mentioned and common friends’ names enumerated.  Bingo.. I felt the heavens were smiling down on me.  My lawyer-friend-classmate and I shared a look and I knew he was thinking the same thing.  Not that we automatically thought she was on our side, but at least we knew she would be one to play fair and speak upfront.

The conversation was calm but emotionally draining, because there was a lot of tentativeness and vacillation on the part of the other party.  We had made our offer, it was refused, and we needed to get a counter offer we could react to.  This tug-of-war took almost an hour, landing us somewhere near a possible counter proposal which, understandably, could not be arrived at right there and then.  But at least we had our lawyers exchanging numbers and agreeing to communicate to each other whatever it was they arrived at, so that it can be communicated to the parties, and hopefully a document drafted for signing by all involved very soon.

I had to bare my soul in a manner of speaking explaining where my family was coming from and what financial dilemma the refusal of the counter offer has plunged us into, and what challenges we are facing given a new proposal.  It is by no means a small figure we were negotiating over, but it was not something we could not work towards raising.

Even before I sat down there, I prayed.  I asked God to guide me and give me the words to say.  He had taken me back to Manila despite all the odds and despite previous plans not to or to do so later in April perhaps.  Things happened which drastically changed my time table, and while getting me here started to become workable, in many respects, it had come with a lot of obstacles along the way and at a price. (Soul of Christ, Sanctify me.. Body of Christ, save me.. Water from the side of Christ, wash me…)  I almost felt defeated thinking of all the things that had happened the previous weeks and that have been happening lately, and I just closed my eyes thinking there must be a reason for everything.  I almost said out loud, if this is what it would take, I understand why it has cost so much.

(I had to pause just now, close my eyes and try to shoo away the knot forming in my chest.  Too early for tears.)

I had texted out a request for prayers, for the prayers to be sent my way, but after we walked out of the restaurant and headed home, all that I could say was “Thank you.”  Even if I didn’t get a reply to any of the messages, I know that people heard and people prayed.  I have always believed in the power of prayer, no matter which God one prayed, too.  As Fe always says, it’s the energy of the universe, and the universe is listening.

My task is not quite finished yet and we have a second and possibly third meeting set before I leave.  It looks now that although I wanted to leave for New York over the weekend, it’ll have to wait.  One of the meetings set is for Monday.

I wanted to just plop down in the front seat of the car, but we had to head home and relay what we had spoken about to my sister and my mom whom we left in the house.  While recounting it and relaying what had transpired to them was a task in itself, explaining things related to our home to my mother is an emotional obstacle course because I have to  be careful what I say and how I say it.  She has spent many sleepless nights over this dilemma — in fact when the other party asked why we didn’t have her with us, I told them in a calm voice that everytime they spoke with my mom, she spent many sleepless nights after and she wasn’t one to take sedatives to calm her nerves.   I had to try very hard not to hint at my displeasure at their callousness for my mother’s feelings the way they had been talking to her in the previous negotiations which was relayed to me by my siblings — I was, after all, supposed to be the one trying to placate them and trying to convince them to give us a reasonable counter offer.

I still feel like I’m carrying half the weight of the world on my shoulders, and trying to sort things in a heart already beaten down by other burdens the past few weeks.  (Passion of Christ.. give me strength..”)  And I have to remind myself that life goes on when I go on that plane ride back to New York where I will have to face other challenges waiting for me on that side of the world. ( “Hear me Jesus, hide me in Thy wounds so that I may never leave Thy side..”)  I would normally want to stay and extend, but there’s a boy whose warm embrace is like God’s personal assurance to me that all will be well.  Every day he asks me when will I be coming home.  One week, I told him today.  I said midnight on Wednesday next week, I’ll wake him up and I’ll be with him already. =)

I tried to start a blog post here last night just before I lay down before midnight but I was beaten down.  I only had enough strength to set up the gadgets that will enable me to connect with Angelo when he called, then sleep took me over.  When I woke up this morning, I found two “messages” that were messages — but not quite — waiting for me.  First was the knowledge that someone I thought might have totally been ignoring me was still listening in a distant way.  I knew because I saw that there was a glimpse taken my way — even if nary a word was said.  Second was yet another “Godwink” from a comment from a stranger… thank you, WI.

Wi wrote in response to Rainy Tuesday in Manila below:

I just prayed for you and will continue to do so. Good luck.

Like I always do, I returned a thank you for an e-mail trace back, and again, like a few days ago with Shay, it wasn’t the original comment which brought the tears out but rather what she said in response to my note that just convinced me my message to the heavens was received, and God was telling me that He heard.

In a strange way, I heard someone else saying what Wi had told me in her comment — someone in particular I had asked for prayers from, and to whom I texted a simple “Thank you” last night after I stood up from the negotiating table.  Even if I didn’t get any replies and I was thinking perhaps my messages were being ignored or deleted, Wi’s comment to my mind was the universe telling me the messages were received, and the prayers sent.  Or at least I’d like to think so.

Hear me, Jesus..”… I feel as though there are just too many petitions I am asking of God at this point that I don’t know which one to prioritize over the other.  I am almost afraid to ask that one prayer be granted at the expense of another equally important petition weighing heavily on my heart.  At this point, all I can say is I offer it all up to Him for Him to do with as He pleases… what I might want most might not be what He may want to give to me… ever.. or just not yet.

As a friend would say, Inshallah.  Another would say, “In God’s time..”… and Fe would say, “The universe is listening.”

I’m headed to Baclaran today for my personal devotion to Our Lady of Perpetual Help.  I am almost sure the tears will come again — the hymns and the faith of the masses who raise their voices up to heaven never fail to move me on an ordinary day, what more on a day like this when I feel Jesus talking to me, and I feel His arms around me in a warm embrace.  Have to make sure I brought the tissue and the shades in my purse.

Fe is away on a trip to Dumaguete this morning, so I will go about mine without my emotional crutch here by my side.  I can already hear her saying “You’re doing fine.. Be kind to yourself.”

One week left.  I have promised myself to make the most of what’s left of my trip as my returning any earlier than the end of 2013 is very unlikely.  I might not even return until 2014.  I have to finish my notebooks soon, write on my cards, pack the rosaries I brought home to give away.  I have to make sure all that I brought reaches their intended recipient. I have to leave with all my paperwork taken cared of, powers of attorney signed.  I have a baul  (chest) of pictures and old letters I’m still looking for which I hope to find and go through before I leave.  I have already tucked away the postcards my sister reminded me I had always intended to take back to New York in one of my future trips — I told her the postcards will have to stay and wait for another trip in the future.  I can’t take them back with me just now.

It’s still dark out and I know half the city is already stirring.  Some people are already making their way to the LRT trying to avoid the morning rush.  I have to start my day soon, too.  Day one of 7 and counting..

Feedback on Feedback and a warm hug to the heart

I haven’t been here in a while to write — hence the Art Journal Every Day posts sans the accompanying blog post.  I guess you can say I’m in a rut again, but trying earnestly to get out of it.

I don’t get too many (legitimate) comments here, so when I do, I take notice.  And since I had started responding to them in blogposts way back when I started, why stop now?  That would be a disservice to those who took the time to leave me an echo of their visit here in my corner of the blogsphere.  Thank you, most sincerely, for letting me know I have more than 5 readers out there. =)  (Kidding!)

For starters, Shay surprised me with the sweetest of comments during a time when I felt like everything that could possibly go wrong was going wrong.  I was definitely in no mood to write anything but she made me pause and think and even smile.

Shay wrote in response to “Riding It Out” : “I am hooked reading your blog.. from new to older entries. hope you are feeling much better now.”

The Pinay New Yorker says:  … I am humbled, Shay.  Your comment couldn’t have come at a better time.  I have started reading a book entitled “When God Winks at You” by Squire Rushnell, and I think now that you would be what he calls a “godwink”.  (That’s another blogpost altogether!)

I have a confession to make, though — I actually thought you were someone trying to get me to go back to writing and using a pseudonym to push me forward.  So when I  wrote the e-mail address you provided with a thank you to make sure the address was legitimate, I was pleasantly surprised to get an almost instantaneous reply.  (Almost within my timezone.. !)  And when I replied once more, I even got a hug back!

But what touched me most was the warmth of your response which helped me get myself here tonight and write.  (While I would normally publish it, since it was said in private and was most meaningful for the simplicity of her words of encouragement, I would like to keep that exchange between Shay and I.)  For someone who didn’t know me to get a sense of what I was going through simply by reading my posts was truly amazing and touching.  It makes me wonder if I have become so transparent that my emotions are so easy to read.   But simply to know that people actually read what I write is most heart-warming and keeps me writing — more so during those times when I feel like I want to just clam up and stop churning out the words.

This blog has been my personal journal both during the good and bad times.  Often, there are things I opt to keep to myself, but which I am able to write about in veiled sentences that nonetheless encapsulate the thought or feeling I want to record.  I have always said I blog for my personal benefit — it helps me get in touch with my feelings, enables me to sort out my thoughts, chronicle my joys and pains, and it give me a channel to just plain rant and rave about life in general and MY LIFE specifically.  I find myself browsing back to entries from years ago and it helps me remember the good and the bad, and I recall the lessons learned.  It has helped me to remember the happy ones and relive them in my heart — and remembering the “happy” has helped me to remember how to forget the “sad” when I come across those heartaches.

I always say that you can never go wrong paying someone a compliment, no matter how simple a thought it may be for the most miniscule of tasks that was rendered.  You never know how you can make someone’s day, or change the direction he or she goes because you made nice.  Sometimes it’s not just the “Please” that gets us what we want and which matters — but the corresponding “Thank You” or “Sorry” can make the bigger difference.  (It’s the one reason I always take the time to fill out a customer survey, more so when the service rendered deserves recognition.)

Your words were a warm thank you to this blogger, Shay.  So I am back.. or at least I’m trying.. =)  I’m not quite there yet — “feeling better,” that is.  But asthma has a way of holding me back even if I fight it.  I am no longer “drowning” trying to breathe — I should be back to my usual self in a few more days.

I have been prolific writing longhand letters and cards, though, as well as finishing pieces for my Art Journal Every Day project as inspired by my art muse, Julie Fei-Fan Balzer.  I have managed to finish two entries which immediately precede this blogpost, the earlier of which saw a fellow “art journaler” (sp?) visiting and leaving a comment.  (I cannot publish or approve a second comment which is not returning a legitimate trace like Shay’s and Susan’s. — trying to check first.)

Again, I am humbled.  Most of these people who art journal with me and Julie are REAL artists in every sense of the word, dwarfing me and my novice attempts at rendering my journaling through my personal art.

Susan wrote: “Love the lettering and the flowers. reminds me of a beautiful garden.”

To which the Pinay New Yorker says:  Many, many thanks, Susan.   I have been learning a lot watching fellow art journalers do their own pages and reading up on their individual process in coming up with their work.  I feel like a kindergartener amongst experts, but I have always said, it’s never too late to learn.  I just might try what you did with the gel pen in a future entry.

Thanks for stopping by!

It’s Monday in 20 minutes.  I can’t believe the weekend’s over and another week unfolds.  In a few days, it’s March.  In another month, I turn 46.   How time flies indeed.

My  bestfriend Fe would say “Life is short.  You cannot postpone happiness.”  Indeed.  Even when you try putting things on hold because your heart seems to have stalled — the world will go on.   So I picked up my pliers tonight (hooray!) and actually created quite a bunch of freshwater pearl pieces in sterling silver findings.  (I am getting adventurous and extravagant, I know..)  I almost wasn’t quite sure I could tweak the loops the right way in the uniform width, but I think I did pretty well.

Another godwink, I believe.  Or if I were to believe Fe, it’s the universe listening.

The Angelo Report: My budding Film Maker

Would you believe that this particular clip of Angelo’s has picked up almost 17,000 hits over at his youtube channel: The Angelo Report?!  Even I was blown away by the popularity of the video considering it was made by a child on a very child-like topic.

It took a while for this fact to sink in with the boy who was not too concerned about views or hits, and was just having fun emulating his idols on YouTube by creating videos of his toys.  For my part, I have always tried to encourage him in anything he likes — and I am just so amazed at how this medium has given him a channel to express his creativity, and at the same time develop his self confidence.

Just like anything on the web, people are not always going to be pleased so while I am not too happy that it is not 100% as far as the “like” function is concerned, and there was a crude comment I pulled out, I am trying to get people to comment on the video because Angelo doesn’t care so much about the hits as the number of people commenting and rating his work.  It’s a seven year old doing his own thing — we have no pretensions of being a serious film maker.  He is probably thinking of being one eventually but for now, I’m just so thrilled to see him having fun doing it.

The three comments there are somehow strange in that the spelling and grammar is not even at par my with 7-year-old.  One comment referred to the racer who was the inspiration for one of the Cars (The Movie) character, which makes me think, people should stop a while and see what the video is about before thinking they know more than the filmmaker.   Another one was asking where Angelo is from (seeing he is Asian talking the way he talks) because she couldn’t place his “acsent” — and that wasn’t a typo.  The comment I took out was a crude comment in broken English about not liking his video.

I’m just being the defensive Mom, I know.. why can’t people just let the kid have fun?  Some people just don’t have anything better to do.  I remember the grief I went through when certain bloghoppers made a habit of trolling blogs they would attack with all these unsavory comments.  Why even bother?

Right now I am just so impressed by the way he’s coming out of his shell and thinking of new ways to showcase his videos.  We’re still trying to get him looking at the camera when he chooses to have himself as part of the shot — and he’s getting better at it.  I’m also trying to get him used to showing the object which is the subject of the video long enough for the viewer to see it — but if you look at his first video which we did last year and compare it with the other things he’s done, you’ll see my boy is growing up.

So if you have the time, please do stop by his channel on YouTube and leave a comment.. Even just hitting the “like” button will mean a lot.  He’s already looking at George Lucas and Steven Spielberg.. right now, other youtube filmmakers continue to inspire him..