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2. Write a letter to yourself in the future.
Dear Dinna —
I think it’s a good time for me to write the future me at this point where I have been going through so many personal changes, and I am rediscovering my potential and failings all at the same time. I used to think that at 47, I would have figured everything out. It turns out, though, that learning and discovery, more so about one’s self, is a never-ending process. I know now that I will never be the whole of who I really am until I reach the end of my existence — whenever that may be.
I hope that you will find yourself standing up tall again one day. When your shame and guilt and pain would have been assuaged by the passage of time.
Perhaps it will happen in the next few months, the next year, or not for a couple of years more — but even now as I bow my head down in the process of healing, I remain hopeful it will happen. That it will come. And you’d be able to go above and beyond the challenges that you have faced.
There will come a time when you might feel strong enough again. You’ve done pretty well in the face of life’s challenges. Others would have surrendered and just chosen the easy way out by embracing a personality totally not their own. But you have never been one to give in to denial.
You used to be stronger… you can be strong again.
One day.
Dinna
Pinay New Yorker 