I slept normal last night which was a first in many days. I was in bed before midnight and made sure to shut all my electronic devices when the witching hour came. Instead of lingering and having difficulty sleeping, I drifted off to la-la land almost instantaneously. I know because I don’t remember anything after closing my eyes. No stressful dreams of people who haunt me into a stressful awakening. Bliss.
I woke up earlier than usual, too, which is good. So instead of immediately getting down to the business of getting myself ready for work, I sat down at our breakfast counter, powered up the laptop, and then proceeded to enjoy a quarter slice of the raisin walnut loaf I picked up from Maison Kayser in the Flat Iron district. It might not be one of his fancy pastries or desserts, but this bread is a heavenly treat. I can make do with it and butter for a meal. (Which I will indulge in later for lunch.)
I checked my messages (the boss is on the other side of the world but thankfully has kept to emailing me at the start of HIS day, end of mine, instead of some ungodly hour — but it still pays to check — just in case.) I said my morning prayer — something I’ve been good with even if reading the scripture readings via Kerygma’s Daily Readings has not been as easy to do regularly. And I sat down here, determined to write a morning post.
I can hear the humming of the refrigerator and nothing much else. The TV is off because I’m the only one in the house — everyone else is asleep or gone off to work. I’m just savoring this alone time where the only sense of urgency comes from the cadence of the laptop keys as I strike them.
The half dozen or so posts in my head are still in my head. While I have been writing, it’s been more of the spontaneous account of the “thought of the moment” or major activity of the day. I still hear the words coming forth in my head as I go about doing my work — or even as I hold the clay in my hands, trying to experiment with this new design I wanted to come up with.
Yesterday, the anger almost crept up on my again. I don’t want to say it’s getting easier to let it go — I think I’ve just gotten better at it. I breathe in. I calmly tell myself to let it go. Another deep breath. I pray that God help me to let it go. And I think that is what does it for me.
Time to get ready for work again. I’ve indulged enough here and must head back to the real world and do my part for the day.