Minutes to noon.. thinking about lunch.. hmmmm.. I suddenly remembered that I have a can of soup I snatched from the pantry this morning, along with some raclette cheese I’d been keeping for a postponed wine tasting trip. Bread… ? I haven’t made up my mind about it yet.
I had started to write again here several times between the last post and this one. As you can see, I even managed to change my blog theme to something more colorful and visually pleasing. The only drawback is that I lost my header photo. My attention span, as far as developing ablog post beyond starting it with a paragraph or two, has been rather short these days. Yesterday, I asked if it was the jetlag, the fact that I wanted to have a three-day weekend, or perhaps the ever present knot in my gut that surfaced when Dad passed.
It’s been almost a month.
So lunch was a cup of Creamy Parmesan Tomato Bisque and some raclette. No bread. It’s not even 1pm but I feel like I’ve been here all day and raring to go home. There certainly is no shortage of things to do — there is, however, of time to do all that you want to finish and do.
I picked up my pliers last night and actually fashioned a pair of freshwater pearl dangle earrings from two strands of pearls I got during this last visit to Manila. It’s a good sized coin pearl in mauve topped by two varying sizes of sand colored stick pearls. The trio is held together by a single headpin dangling from an earwire hook. I haven’t crafted anything in a while, not for lack of inspiration, but more for the lack of the energy to do it again.
Since I was mostly incapacitated by the overwhelming urge to sleep yesterday, I started putting away the few supplies I managed to get. The budget was tight so there wasn’t much. Somehow, it was comforting to be stretching headpins to fit into my container. The rhythmic motion of bending the pins this way and that to straighten it and putting them in the bin was soothing.
It would seem like I am constantly asking for more time and complaining about the lack thereof, but the truth of the matter is I am grateful that I have much to busy myself with given the fact that it distracts me from what would otherwise hold me back. I would normally wish to just be able to lay down and sleep or just lose myself in thought — but that would not get me anywhere. The weekend was spent mostly battling the jetlag. I have quite a hard time adjusting, specially since my first week was still New York time, and then my body clock started adjusting slowly which didn’t quite work with the fact that I was heading back to New York already.
I have been meaning to but haven’t quite yet written out my thank you messages for all the outpouring of sympathy when news about Dad’s death came out. I returned to work where people thought I had gone on vacation — which was how I preferred to have it stay — because I found it awkward having to receive messages of sympathy when thinking about Dad alone brings me close to tears. I haven’t quite gotten to that place yet where I can say I’m okay. I’m getting there.. a day at a time.
Little steps, they said…